Charlie Britten
Espresso
From: George
To: ‘Auntie Angela’
I'm fine. Honestly, I'm fine.
I wish you'd stop worrying about me. Yes, I got your
text. And was it necessary to ring me at 10am? I
mean, you woke up everyone in the place where I was staying, which, btw, is not
a Youth Hostel.
Also, would you please stop
asking me about what you call ‘my financial situation’? Everything
is about money with you. I think I'm managing fine.
Okay, my credit card’s maxed out, but so is everybody else’s.
It’s not my fault the bank insisted on giving me credit, is it?
Another thing. I didn't like that bit in your last email
about people here retiring at fifty-four. Where did you get that
from? The Daily Mail? You don't appreciate
that it’s different out here.
Having awesome time.
Country really beautiful. Last night we sat at the bar,
watching the red streaks of the sun sink over the horizon. Then we
saw it come up again several hours later as a white ball of light, while we were
still sitting there. Some things are more important than
money.
George
PS Just got your last text,
about Uncle Silvio. He’s well embarrassing. Tbh, you
should be more worried about how he spends his money.
.................................................................................................................
From: George
To: ‘Auntie Angela’
P-uh-l-ease, could you not
start on about Christmas yet? I don't know when I'm going to arrive.
I suppose it’s going to be the usual crowd. Can you deal
with the present thing and I'll pay you back. Don't worry about
Uncle David saying he won't come this year. It’s what he always
says, but he’s never missed yet, has he? And he always pays his
whack in the end, more than some of the other relatives. Don't put
pressure on him. He doesn't have to come. I mean,
he’s not part of the immediate family, and he can be very annoying, so
right-wing.
Generally, can you lighten up
on this family thing? You keep saying we should all see more of
each other and do more things together, but I don't know.
I'm fine, Auntie
Angela. Honestly, I'm fine.
George
............................................................................................................................
From: George
To: ‘Auntie Angela’
I'm not fine.
Send me several billion, Auntie Angela, please. As soon as
possible, I beg you. By Western Union, because the banks are all
messed up out here. And don’t get me on the subject of bankers,
p-uh-l-ease.
Look, I know the whole
family’s in the shit money-wise, except for you, my favourite Auntie
Angela. But remember that I asked you first, because, from what I
hear, you’ll get more requests for money soon. Hope you kept
receipt for Uncle David’s pressie, seeing as he’s now off the Christmas card
list.
Can't wait to see you.
Have you made the stollen yet? Haven’t eaten proper meal in
ages.
George
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Bio
Charlie Britten lives in
southern England with her husband and cat. She writes because she enjoys it and
has had her work published in ‘FictionAtWork’, ‘Mslexia’, ‘Long Short Story’,
‘Linnet’s Wings’ and Radgepacket. Charlie's blog is Lives to Write. Chalrie would
love to write to live. In real
life, she is a lecturer in IT at a college of further education.
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