Godfrey
Roger Noons
A pint of mild
Godfrey
was the grave digger for St. Luke’s. He was a big man; well that’s how he
seemed to us children in 1957. Our gang, Carol, Alan, his younger brother Eric,
Raymond and I, spent many a happy hour sitting on the wall, or one of the head-stoned
sepulchres, listening to his stories.
No matter what the weather, Godfrey would
be wearing old, brown, corduroy trousers, tucked into his Wellington boots, the
top two inches of which would be turned over, the inside stamped with ‘Size
11’. Above the waist, it was always a check shirt, the top three buttons of
which would be undone, even if there was a thick layer of snow covering the
ground. His sartorial appearance would be completed with a sleeveless pullover,
usually grey, and at his throat, a knotted kerchief.
Of course, he didn’t spend all his time
digging graves. When there was no interment due, he would occupy the daylight
hours tidying the paths and trimming back the trees and bushes, of which there
were plenty dotted around the one and a half acre site. My mother told me that
Godfrey was paid a guinea to dig a grave, and he was expected to put a shilling
of that on the collection plate on a Sunday evening. Godfrey, and his sister
Alice, with whom he resided, never missed a service, morning or evening.
‘I have to keep in with my potential
customers,’ he would explain to the occupants of the bar in the Chainmakers
Arms, on a Friday night. He was not a great drinker, but he enjoyed playing
dominoes, and the landlord took a dim view of anyone who sat all evening with
one half pint.
Raymond’s dad told us that Godfrey was the
most skilled digger of graves in the area, and several times in the past he had
been offered an increase in pay to tempt him to another church, but for
whatever reason, he remained where he was.
The members of our gang each had a
favourite grave, Carol’s had a trio of white angels, and Eric’s had an
aeroplane carved on the headstone, as the last person to have been interred therein
had been a pilot, during the war. Mine was a prominent vault just inside the
entrance furthest from the church. It had a holly tree alongside, which until
twentieth of December each year, used to be laden with shiny red berries. I
cannot remember the name of the family who owned the tomb, but it had a large
black headstone with several names engraved thereon in gold, as well as a blue
brick wall surrounding its raised base which was covered with black chippings.
One year, two weeks prior to Christmas day,
I went alone to the churchyard, just as it was getting dark. Whilst I had been
at school, there had been heavy rain which had passed over, but as the
temperature was unseasonably high, there were patches of mist around.
I had taken my penknife and cut only three
or four sprigs of holly, when the mist thickened and in no time I could not see
the entrance through which I had passed. I knew the area like the back of my
hand so was unconcerned and continued my cutting until having snapped off one
thick branch, I heard a sound.
I was standing on the wall in order to
reach the branches and looked around, but there was no sign of anyone. I knew
cats often visited, but if it was one of them, it would be more afraid of me
than I of it. I snipped off a further twig and heard a high pitched ‘ouch’.
Again I cast my eyes around, but saw nothing. After two more cuts there were
shouts of apparent anguish, and as I knew that trees were silent, I concluded
that someone was having a joke at my expense.
‘Alright,’ I called out, ‘which one of you
is it?’ I was certain it was one of the gang, who, probably having had the same
idea as me, had arrived a little later, and determined to have a joke and
frighten me.
No-one materialized so I continued with my
task. As soon as I touched the tree however, I heard more sounds.
‘Oh no, please, not any more, leave me
alone.’
I was getting fed up and jumped down from
the vault.
‘Right,’ I shouted into the now more like
fog, ‘I’m going to find you and stick this holly up you bum.’
I moved around the graves, along the paths
and although I covered an area of many square yards, I disturbed nothing and
found no-one. I took a deep breath and stared back towards the tree but it had
disappeared. The fog became thicker, so I made my way home.
I was embarrassed by the meagre bunch of
holly which I offered to my mother on my return.
‘Don’t worry Rob, I’m pleased you’re back;
it’s a real pea souper out there.’
*
The
day after we broke up for Christmas, a cold and frosty morning, the gang, minus
Alan who’s mother would not let him come as he had a cold, met up as usual by
the main gate to the church yard.
‘What are we going to do then?’ asked
Carol.
‘We could go carol singing,’ Raymond
volunteered.
‘Not at ten o’clock in the morning you
twerp,’ she replied.
Eric said, ‘Godfrey’s working down the
bottom, a rush job apparently; old Mrs Tonks. They don’t want to spoil their
Christmas, so they thought they’d get her buried right away.’
‘He won’t want us disturbing him if he’s
busy,’ I chipped in.
‘He will if he’s well on, he’ll be in need
of a break.’ Carol concluded, so we made our way to where we expected him to
be.
*
The
excavation turned out to be close to my favourite spot, and as we neared, I
stopped. The holly tree had not a single berry left on its branches. I was
astounded, just a few days before it had been laden. I stared, my mouth wide
open, the branches were untouched, but the berries, all gone.
‘How do you lot, come to lend a hand?’
Godfrey greeted us. He was obviously ready for a breather, resting on his large
spade which any one of us could hardly lift.
‘W-what’s happened t-to the b-berries?’ I
stammered.
‘Ah,’ he said, sitting on a box which he
used to store anything interesting or valuable, which appeared on his shovel
while he was digging. ‘Let me tell you about the holly.’
We gathered around him.
‘The holly tree is very old and from
biblical times, it was well known and respected. The prickly leaves relate to
the crown of thorns which was set upon Christ’s head when he was crucified, and
the red berries represent the droplets of his blood. But you see the holly was
known to have had special powers well before that time, and people used to cut
off branches and take them into their homes, to protect them from malevolent
faeries, or as we know them today, witches.’
‘There’s no such thing as witches,’ Carol
chipped in. ‘They’re made up by grown-ups to frighten children, like talk of
the bogey man.’
‘I wouldn’t be too sure about that young
lady.’
‘Well
I’ve never seen one.’
‘Just because you haven’t seen one doesn’t
mean they don’t exist. Anyway, I reckon that tree has been stripped of its
berries by a coven of witches. You see, the branches have to be covered in
berries in order to obstruct those unpleasant faeries and keep them from our
houses.’
‘I reckon he’s right,’ Raymond added. ‘The
night before last, while we were all asleep, my mother’s favourite vase was
knocked over and broken. It had stood on the sideboard for years. I bet a witch
had got in; we don’t have any holly in the house.’
Godfrey beamed at each of us in turn, but
resisted the impulse to add ‘I told you so.’
‘Anyway, I must get on,’ he said, and after
spitting on each of his palms, he picked up his shovel.
As we moved away, my eyes were glued to the
tree and I remembered the sounds that I had heard a few evenings previously. It
must have been witches, I reasoned, that had driven me away so they could take
the berries, although I did not tell any of the others about the incident.
*
My
family and I enjoyed a jolly Christmas. With my share of the carol singing
money, I bought holly and mistletoe from the market, as well as some talcum
powder for my mother and a new penknife for my dad. The holiday passed quickly
and we suffered no ill will, in fact concentrating on the Meccano set which I
found in my pillow case on Christmas morning, I forgot all about Godfrey’s
malevolent faeries.
Bio
Having spent
the best part of thirty-five years writing reports on such subjects as
‘Provision of Caravan Sites for Travellers’ and ’Aspects of Pest Control in the
Urban Environment’, Roger Noons began even more creative writing in 2006, when
he completed a screenplay for a friend who is an amateur film maker. After the
film was made, he wrote further scripts and having become addicted, began to
pen short stories and poems. He occasionally produces memoirs and other non
fiction. He has begun to perform his poems, and has just published ’An A to Z
by RLN’, an anthology of 26 short stories. He intends by the end of the year to
have followed that up with a novella.
He is a member
of two Writers Groups and tries his hardest to write something every day. As
well as CafeLit, he has had credits in West Midlands newspapers, The Daily
Telegraph, Paragraph Planet, Raw Edge and a number of Anthologies.
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