Jenny Palmer
a blueberry smoothie
There were two of them
last time. My house is just about the right size for one visitor at a time. When
there are two, it is a bit of a tight squeeze. Trips to the bathroom are difficult. Timing is
all important. I usually give up my bedroom and sleep in the spare room, which
doubles up as a study. It is full of books. There are so many ideas floating
around in there, that I find it difficult to switch off. In the mornings, I feel shattered but still
feel duty-bound to ask the visitors how they have slept even though I already
know the answer. They have got the best room in the house.
I first started doing
Air B& B for a bit of extra cash. Then I found I liked the company. You can
get lonely living out here, with only the sheep to talk to and the birds. I
don’t usually get involved with the guests. I prefer to leave them to their own
devices. I told them to be sure and
bring their walking shoes. I live out in the sticks, five miles from the nearest
town. The bus service is poor. To go
anywhere, they have to walk. I prefer it if the visitors go out during the day.
But the weather was against them. It rained all week and the ground was too
muddy to walk on.
It would have been a
struggle for them to buy in food. There
was no way they would be have been able to carry it home. The bus stop is at
least half an hour away. So, they came with me when I went shopping. In the end,
we decided to cook together. I enjoy trying out new recipes. They were fond of
using superfoods like quinoa and blueberries. It made a change from my normal
diet.
They said it was
overcrowded where they came from. You couldn’t move without bumping into people.
They were looking for a place with more space.
They wanted to know what it was like living in the countryside. They were
interested in the history of the place.
So, one day, I suggested we visit
the local museum. It has been done up recently with lottery money and gone all
touchy-feely with sound recordings of bird calls and local accents. But there
are some good displays and, if you follow it through, you can trace the history
of mankind from pre-historic times right to the present.
Another day I took them
to a textile museum, where they could see the original machines working, just as
they had done during the industrial revolution. The noise was deafening but they
loved it. They had never seen anything like it and took video footage to show
back home. On the strength of that, I took them to the nearby abbey, where
Cistercian monks had once laboured, cultivating crops, rearing sheep, re-routing
the water courses to take away their sewage. The visitors were impressed by the
self-sufficiency of the monks in previous centuries.
‘You never know,’ they
commented. ’It may come to that one day.’
The highlight was our
trip to the Yorkshire Dales. We visited Gordale Scar with its gigantic stone
structures and on the hills above Malham we spotted evidence of Neolithic life
in the form of stone cairns, where ancient man had lived alongside woolly
mammoths, using their tusks to fashion tools. The visitors were curious and
wanted to know why these ancient people had preferred to live up on the rock
terraces rather than down in the valley.
‘It must have been
warmer on the hills then,’ I said, guessing. ‘I expect it was to avoid the
retreating ice flows.’
‘So, the climate was
different then,’ they said.
I was surprised they
hadn’t realised that.
Their visit coincided
with the American elections. They joined me in watching some of the coverage on
television. It was the usual story. The two rival candidates were slogging it
out, taking chunks out of each other.
‘The stakes are high.’
I explained. ’They are fighting over who
will be the next leader of the free world.’
‘Why do they call it
free? And why can’t they decide by
consensus, like we do?’ One of them asked.
‘I suppose it’s just
human nature to want to be top dog,’ I said.
‘Hasn’t that sort of
behaviour been consigned to the animal kingdom yet?’ the other one said.
‘Unfortunately, not,’ I said. I felt myself
getting defensive although there really was nothing to defend. It was despicable
behaviour.
‘One of the candidates
thinks global warming is a Chinese hoax. He says is going to reverse all
previous policies. Is that wise when it will lead inevitably to the extinction
of life? What exactly is his appeal?’ they asked.
I wondered where they
had been for the past year and a half. It was all anyone had been talking about.
I said that his appeal lay with people who felt left behind, people who had
worked in coal mining and steel production in what they called the rustbelt.
Their jobs had disappeared due to global capitalism because those industries had
moved to other countries where the labour was cheaper. The previous government
hadn’t been paying enough attention to them so now they wanted to change the
government.
The visitors looked
disconcerted, as if they were hearing it all for the first time.
‘But it’s a global
phenomenon,’ I said, ‘this shift to the right. We had it here first, with
Brexit.’
They stared at me as if they didn’t seem to
know what I was talking about. I wondered where they had been all their
lives.
‘But can’t people see
that nations of the world need to work together and forge common policies,’ they
said. ‘That that it is their only hope,
if they are not to destroy each other.’
They were getting
agitated. I hadn’t noticed it before but when I looked at them this time, they
had a glazed, transparent quality. It was otherworldly. I put it down to tiredness. It was clearly
time for bed.
‘Our work is done
here,’ they said, as they left the next day. I couldn’t understand why they had left so
quickly. Then a letter came and everything fell into place. They thanked me for
my hospitality. They explained they came
from a planet in a far-away galaxy.
They had used up its resources
and the planet was fast becoming uninhabitable. They were on a mission to
explore the possibility of re-settlement elsewhere. Earth had appealed to them
at first but when faced with this new reality, they had changed their minds.
They were sorry but they couldn’t stay.
At this very minute,
they will be hot-footing it to some other planet. I wait with trepidation for my
next visitors to come.
About the author
Jenny Palmer has self-publshed two memoirs and a family history book and is
currently working on a collection of short stories.
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