Linda Flynn
golden dream (a cocktail)
Catch a cliché full of illusory situations as we open the curtains to
the pantomime of life...
Once upon a time, in
a land far away, there was a beautiful princess, who was as fair as fair can
(unnaturally) be. She was as good as she was beautiful, which in case you were
wondering, was very good indeed.
Her only problem was
that she required an excessive amount of beauty sleep, one hundred years to be
precise.
So, when the handsome prince in
tight fitting breeches found her, she was enjoying a little shut eye.
One sight of her completely took his
breath away. (To tell the truth he was also a tad breathless on account of
having to hack his way through the undergrowth surrounding the castle, as a
good gardener could not be found for love or money.) Which was almost as bad as
wading through her massive shoe collection, in fact he nearly got himself impaled
on one of her ruby slippers. But then a girl can never have too many pairs of
shoes.
Anyway, to cut to the chase, the
prince kissed her ruby red, perfect Cupid’s bow lips. When she could get a word
in edgeways, the princess opened her big brown Bambi eyes and said, “My
Prince!” Which was perhaps a bit presumptuous and premature.
Notwithstanding, they married in
haste in an intimate ceremony, with just a thousand or two honoured guests,
some of whom they knew.
Certainly the
blushing bride looked radiant at the side of her perfect prince, as she
anticipated a life of wedded bliss in the happily ever after.
True, she had a
problem or two with her mother-in- law, who would put a hard pea under the
mattress of her bed and who gave her a glass slipper as a bit of a joke. She
wasn’t sure about all that stuff about talking to her reflection in the mirror
either.
Even the prince appeared to have
picked up one or two bad habits on the way. He certainly owned some beautiful
things, but in her opinion he spent far too much time frantically rubbing on
his magic lamp.
Of course he was
entitled to own his ugly duckling and his share of furry friends, after all
every dog must have his day; it was just that pushy little Puss in Boots that
she couldn’t stand.
Over time she began
to realise that he wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, particularly hers, but that
there was no point in crying over spilt milk.
Nor could she really understand why
the prince would insist upon climbing up her long flowing hair to reach their
tower room, when there was a perfectly good spiral staircase.
On reaching the summit he would
scratch his head and mutter, “I’m sure I came in here for something.”
It was at that point that she
realised that the perfect prince she had married had turned into a flipping
frog.
The best that she could hope for was
to wake up and discover that it had all been just a dream.
About the Author
Linda Flynn has had
two humorous novels published: Hate at
First Bite for 7 – 9 year olds and My
Dad’s a Drag, for teenagers. Both won Best First Chapter in The Writers’
Billboard competition.
She has six
educational books with the Heinemann Fiction Project. In addition she has
written for a number of newspapers and magazines, including theatre reviews and
several articles on dogs.
Her short stories
with Bridge House include: two adult stories, To Take Flight, in the Going
Places anthology and I knew it in the Bath in Something Hidden, as well as The Wild Ones, for teenagers in Devils, Demons and Werewolves. Two
children’s short stories: The Secret
Messenger and Timid Tim were
included in Hippo-Dee-Doo-Dah.
On 15th November
2015, Linda’s latest short story, Snowdrop
was published in the Bridge House Christmas anthology, Snowflakes.
Linda also works as a Head of
English and PR at a school in Middlesex. Her interests include swimming,
reading, walking her rescue dogs and far too much time spent daydreaming.
Linda’s website is: www.lindaflynn.com
No comments:
Post a Comment