By Jo Dearden
Damson Wine
Crisp sun, clear skies. Leaves crunching underfoot. A myriad of
oranges, reds and yellows. A bright autumn day. That was then. Now, the leaves
seem muted and the sky is leaden with a dreary greyness. Trees are being stripped,
their bareness a painful reality like mine. I am no longer wanted.
We are walking in the woods above Acorn Hill. Thick bracken clings
to my muddy boots making me stumble. Brambles entangle themselves in my hair
and graze my coat as I blindly follow Nick. Fallen twigs crackle, disturbing
the suffocating silence that has descended upon us like a thick fog.
Nick is slightly ahead of me, shoulders hunched, hands thrust into
his pockets. He looks as though he would rather be anywhere else than here with
me. I had no idea that anything was wrong. I suppose I should have seen it
coming, but love is blind. I still love him. I think I always will. I can feel
the rain falling softly on to my tear-stained face as we walk like strangers
through the shadowy woods.
Dusk is rapidly approaching. A cold wind rustles the remaining
leaves on the half-naked trees. Branches
above my head have formed a hostile canopy. The rain is more persistent,
echoing our escalating misery. My boots sink deeper into the mud. Nick trudges
on ahead of me. He seems to be oblivious of the pervading gloom.
‘I think we should go back now before it gets dark,’ I call feebly,
but he doesn’t seem to hear me. After a few moments he turns around and walks
towards me.
‘Look Jen, I’m really sorry. I’m not sure what I want yet. I just
need some space’. His words pierce like a sword into my soul. Nick and I have
loved each other for what seems forever. We met at Edinburgh University, both
reading English. We clicked from the start and it wasn’t long before we were
living together. Our friends said we
were made for each other. Anna said she expected to be a bridesmaid. But now
the dream is over, dashed to pieces by a few painful words.
The woods appear much darker than before. The twilight envelops us
like a shroud. A twig snaps loudly making me jump. It is only a rabbit, but in
the gloom my imagination is running riot.
‘You’re right, we’d better get back. I really want us to stay
friends’, Nick says. We both know that will be impossible, too painful after
all we’ve been through together. It is raining heavily now. Dead leaves swirl
at my feet. Everything seems dead. My new jeans are spattered with mud. I feel
cold and tired.
We emerge from the oppressive woods into a large open field. The
hills on the horizon merge with the colourless sky. Below is a tiny hamlet.
Smoke is curling from some of the cottage chimneys. We stop for a moment
catching our breath.
‘We’ll be ok Jen,’ Nick says squeezing my hand. A last ray of sun appears
in the watery sky.
About the author
Jo Dearden trained as a journalist with
the Oxford Mail and Times. She did a
degree in English Literature with creative writing as a mature student. She
co-edited her local village newsletter for about ten years. She also worked for
a number of years for the Citizens’ Advice Bureau. She is currently attending a
creative writing class, which is stimulating her writing again. Jo lives in
Suffolk.
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