by Joseph Isaacs
black coffee
“I don’t
understand,” Robert said. “We were having fun.”
I chuckled.
“I’m still having fun.”
The water had
begun to boil. I ignored it.
It was time for
something less comfortable, I thought, slipping off the night gown. I stood for
a moment, completely nude, regarding my unremarkable body in the mirror, before
donning my wedding gown. I had become quite proficient at putting it on and it
hardly took me anytime at all, all the while Robert pointlessly screaming for
help, his voice harmonizing with the boiling kettle, as he squirmed against the
ropes.
I turned off
the burner. “Stop struggling,” I advised him. “It will only make the ropes
tighter. You’ll get those awful red lines in your wrist. Now how many creams and
sugar would you like?”
I’d drawn the
curtains almost fully closed, but I left it open a crack. Where was the
excitement if no chance that I might get caught? A sliver of sunlight blinded
him.
“Why are you doing
this, Susan?” he cried. They always cried so much! It was part of what made it
fun.
“Call me
Mother.”
“You need help,
Susan. This isn’t right.”
I shrugged.
“Why do people always say that? I’m just different. Everyone leads their life
the way they choose. This is how I choose to lead mine.” I poured the hot water
into the french press carefully. I had to be careful. I already had a number of
stains on the dress from previous weddings. I turned the dial on the timer for
five minutes. It clicked away.
Robert was
squirming, trying fruitlessly to untie the knot. Part of me hoped he would. Part
of me hoped the police would burst in and stop me. Part of me knew what I was
doing wasn’t right. Yet I couldn’t stop. I opened the curtain, just a little
more.
Then with a
sigh, I went back to murder.
“I’ll give you
your coffee black,” I said. “We all drink black coffee eventually. We try to
hide it with milk. With sugar. But it’s all black in the
end.”
I
liked philosophy. But my guests were always too scared at this point to have
proper conversation. It was a shame, because Robert had quick wits. I had
enjoyed talking to him about Zen Buddhism. He was into Mindfulness. A good
practice to be sure. I took a deep breath now, savoring this moment. Then the
timer went off. I plunged the coffee and poured it into my black Darth Vader
mug. It had been a prank gift from my sister, but it was my favorite
mug.
Father took us
to see Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back seventeen times when we were children.
It was his favorite movie. He didn’t like the first and third ones. “I tire of
the constant need to pretend that the heroes win. Death wins in the end,
children. Death.”
My father liked
philosophy too.
I added no
cream or sugar. Just a little bit of Mother’s special powder. It would bring on
the sleep. It didn’t matter if he screamed. The kitchen was sound-proofed.
I brought the
coffee toward him. I tried to give him a sip but he kept his lips sealed and
bucked so the black liquid spilled burning his chest. He screamed as the boiling
hot liquid hit his bare skin. He was quite muscular and handsome. Almost a waste
to do this one.
“Will you stop
making all that noise?” I asked. “You’re hurting my
ears.”
“I don’t want
this,” he said. “I too have a right to lead my life the way I want don’t
I?”
This stopped me
short. He had an excellent philosophical point. I liked death, he liked life.
Who was to say which of us was right?
I sighed again.
I was I was getting tired of the game. It was too easy. There were so many
bodies in my basement and the stench was unbearable. And you couldn’t even go
down their without tripping or slipping on something.
It had gone on
for far too long. I had hoped the police would have arrested me by now, but they
were too stupid. I missed my old prison. I considered releasing Robert but then
shook my head. No good would come of it.
“Just drink,” I
said, trying once again to let him drink.
He refused
again, bucking and screaming as more of the coffee hit his
chest.
The coffee was
all spent so I put another kettle on. I opened the curtain a bit wider. I could
now see the neighbor’s house. Old Cynthia was looking at me.
Then she
disappeared. I imagined her calling the police on me. Maybe they’d get here in
time to save poor Robert? I doubted it.
I stared at a
picture of my father, sister, and I at the lake. I used to fish when I was a
child.
“Let the small
ones, go,” father used to say. I missed father. He had been a good man when his
mind was straight. He couldn’t help what he did either, any more than I
could.
Or could I? We
are all in charge of our own destinies, he used to say. Was it true? I doubted
it. I opened all the curtains fully now. Why? I’d never done this before. But I
liked it! I felt the thrill of getting caught. I imagined the police thumping on
the door, demanding to be let in. What would I do then? Offer them some coffee,
mayhaps?
Light now streamed into
the living room. Robert was crying softly. I felt a pang of sympathy. He did
indeed like his life.
I dumped the
grounds from the French Press in the sink and prepared a new
batch.
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