by Alyson Faye
elderflower cordial
Memories wrapped around Lucia, like
the variegated ivy embracing the open jaws of the garden house gates. A flurry
of images – her three daughters racing each other, shrieking as they streaked
across the close trimmed lawns, splashing in the fountains, licking diamond
droplets from their lips. Parties with parasols; funerals with pallbearers.
Lucia stomped in her wellington
boots across the sodden grass, whilst broken masonry tried to trip her and the
quiet of the place owned her soul.
“It was terrible what happened,’ she
muttered lost in the past. “He shouldn’t have come back. I told him not to. He
never listened.”
She shivered in the damp shade of
the glasshouse, not seeing the jagged jigsaws of glass, instead remembering
Oliver’s forearms; the golden hairs, his wiry strength. His touch. The smell of
the oranges he peeled for her on their shared flesh. That summer tasted so
sweet; unlike any she’d known since.
“He’s a gardener! A workman! How
could you, Lucia?” Her mother’s tearful shock. Her father’s more pragmatic
fury. Her sister’s silent snubs. Her brother’s fists at night, under cover of
darkness, took their vengeance. Oliver was nothing but a memory. A silent wound
in the family’s womb. Her own rebellious fury, being tethered then smothered.
Lucia stepped over a fallen metal
bar, heard glass crunching under her feet. She extracted a Mag-lite from her
Birkin bag. Its powerful beam illuminated the graffiti emblazoned on the walls
- not all of it the work of invading vandals. Huge figures, drawn in faded
chalks loomed, peopling the corridors once more.
Lucia clicked her tongue, irritated
at her own failing memory. “How much farther is it? I’ve forgotten.”
Voices murmuring behind her, at the
entrance. “Mother, where are you?” Anxiety, tinged with exasperation shading
her youngest’s voice. A common tone these days.
The silhouettes of two entwined
figures outlined in white chalk appeared in the torch’s beam. Faded greenery
sprouted from their heads, pastel flowers emerged from the man’s fingers. The
woman wore a crown of hawthorn. She remembered how Oliver had bent it to his
will. Swallows swooped around them and a sun, as big as a sovereign, shone. It
was the pictorial record of a memory of a perfect summer’s day- long gone, but
not forgotten, by Lucia. The survivor.
“Goodbye my love,” Lucia traced the
man’s figure. Kissed her chalky fingers.
Turning, she glimpsed her youngest
daughter approaching, in her impractical navy signature suit, tottering in
heels. Lucia smiled at the sight. “Ma, what on earth are you doing skulking in
here? Daddy’s waiting by the car with the estate agent. The contract’s ready to
sign at the office. You knew that. So why did you go running off? You’ve kept
us all waiting. You know Daddy’s hates being kept waiting.”
Lucia allowed her daughter’s tutting
to chivvy her into the present. Her own hands, chalk-stained, dangled at her
sides, smearing her clothes.
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