S. Nadja Zajdman
strong black coffee
I sat at the kitchen table, running my tongue around the
loosening tooth in my head. Everyone in
my class had already lost their first tooth.
Everyone had already had their first tooth replaced by the Tooth Fairy
with a quarter under their pillow.
Everyone, except for Sheree Nudleman, who held court in the schoolyard,
and smoked cigarettes. Sheree swore that
her real father was Tony Curtis, and he was coming to get her and would take her
to Hollywood as soon as he finished his latest picture. Sheree Nudleman gave no credence to the Tooth
Fairy. She insisted the Tooth Fairy was
as big a fib as Santa Claus, and told me I was a sucker for believing in grow-up
garbage.
As my tongue teased my tooth, I watched Mark’s pudgy
fingers pat the Jello in his bowl.
“Lellow Jello!”
“Mark,”
Mum reminded my little brother. “Jello
is for eating, not for playing. Use the
spoon.”
“Poom. Poom.” Mark picked up his spoon, tapped his dessert,
and stared, bug-eyed, as the golden globe wobbled. Mark’s Jello was like the sun rising out of
the deep sky of its dish. He curled his
chubby fingers around the glinting handle, dipped the oval end into the slippery
orb, dropped a glob into his open, expectant beak, and cool sunlight slid down
his throat. “Ahhhh.” A beatific beam lit his full round face. “I like bazert!”
As my
tooth twisted, I mused. If there really
is a Tooth Fairy, he’d find my tooth no matter where I hid it. Mum and Daddy said the Tooth Fairy would fly
in with a quarter. Mum and Daddy
wouldn’t lie to me.
The
terminal tooth dropped onto my tongue. I
removed it, like a wad of gum, and stuck it up my right nostril. As soon as I did, I had doubts. .
Maybe there really isn’t a Tooth Fairy, after all—nobody I knew had seen
one. And anyway, how would a Tooth Fairy
know whose tooth had fallen out, and which pillow to visit? I grew uneasy. Teeth were suppose to sit inside mouths; they
weren’t meant to ride up noses. I
attempted to retrieve my tooth, but it had already
disappeared.
Mum was
gulping coffee, and Daddy was nursing his nightly glass of tea. Maybe, I reflected, maybe it would be better
to tell them.
“Abram! The
car!” Mum erupted. She scooped Mark into her arms and herded us
onto the street and into the green Chevrolet.
Only the front of the car had functioning doors. Deliberately. Mark and I had been taught to climb into the
back, and to stay there, so we couldn’t fall out.
“But
why?” Daddy turned from the steering
wheel, to Mum. “Why did the child do
such a thing?” Mum’s gender, Daddy
believed, gave her clairvoyant understanding of his
children.
“With her imagination?”
My creative imagination was a double-edged sword. “Who knows?!” Daddy sped to the Jewish General Hospital.
“Noely is sick?” Mark was unnerved by the abrupt shift in
environment. X-rays were taken of the
inside of my nose, but nothing was found.
“Some kids will do anything for attention.” The attending physician glared at me. “We have more important things to do.” He cast a cursory glance at my frightened
parents. “Relax,” he growled. “Take her home.”
“Noela? Why did
you make up such a story?” It wasn’t an
accusation. Mum knew it wasn’t in my
gentle nature to intentionally cause trouble.
“I didn’t
make it up.”
“But the
doctor says he can’t find anything.”
“I don’t
make up stories!” Generally a docile
child, I now flared at the doctor. “I’m not a liar! I don’t tell
lies!”
We
shuffled out of the hospital and into the car. I slumped sulkily, in the
back. Mark patted my hand, in
sympathy. No one believed me when I told
the truth. Not
ever.
Several days later, on Sunday, in the afternoon, Mum
received a call from the hospital. An
alert intern, struck by my staunch defence of personal integrity, re-examined
the X-ray, and located the tooth.
I was taken from my family and led into a room that was
bare except for a long table and a tray filled with sharp metal
instruments. There were two nurses, and
two interns. Dr. Payne had been located
on a golf course. The four subordinates
were waiting for him to arrive. I was
told to take off my shoes and lie on the table. Payne entered, scowling. Some
stupid kid had spoiled his game.
Bypassing anaesthesia, the specialist raised forceps and rammed them up
my nostril. I shrieked. Blood spurted out of my nose like oil gushing
from a well. “Shut up.” Payne barked.
I gasped in shock. “I said shut
up!” Payne smacked my rosy, tender
cheeks. “I can’t work like this.” Payne turned to his impassive assistants. “Hold her down.” The nurses rushed behind my head. One grabbed hold of my right wrist; the other
grabbed my left. One intern pinned down
my left ankle; the other bore down on my right. Payne, pacified, picked up the forceps again and thrust swiftly, deeply,
repeatedly, penetrating high into my head.
Fountains of blood spouted through my nose, drenching my dress and the
doctor’s lab coat. I wailed in agony. Payne struck me across the face. Blood
flowed from my nares and stained the doctor’s hands. “How many times do I have to tell you to belt
up, brat!” My screams turned to sobs as Payne slid long metal daggers up my nose and into my head. My fists beat against the nurses, and my feet
kicked against the interns. One of the
young doctors, his wrists growing tired, sat on my turned-out
ankle.
The pools of blood encircling my eyes blinded me. My sobs turned to gulps, and my whelps grew
weaker. There was no mercy. I remained conscious.
On hearing my tortured howls, Mark broke away from our
parents and charged towards the source of the sound. He stretched up onto his toes, pushing at the
doorknob of the examination room. It
refused to turn. He pounded on the
locked door. He hammered at the block of
concrete and launched his stocky body against it like a battering ram.
“Noely!
Noely!” Tears splashed his
cherubic cheeks. “Dey killing my
shister! Dey killing my shister!!!” He pleaded for help to the human traffic in
the hospital corridor. He latched onto
passing lab coats; he appealed to the humanity of nurses. “Help me!
Please help me!” Our parents were
sitting silently on a nearby bench. Mum
held onto Daddy. Daddy’s hands dangled
between his knees. He hung his head like
a miserable turtle.
“Do
something, Daddy!” Mark screamed,
accusatory and confused. “Daddy! Why don’t you do something?!” Daddy’s limp hands flew to his anguished
face. His hunched back convulsed. Mum held onto Daddy even harder, her slate
blue eyes glazing over.
Unable to
enlist assistance, Mark hurled himself against the locked door. My cries had subsided to exhausted
bleats. Mark pinned his ear against the
door. “Noely? Noely?”
Was I dead? “Open!” Mark smashed his body against the door. It opened.
Dr. Payne his lab coat soaked in my blood, stepped out. Mark leapt at him. “I going to kill you!” He tackled the doctor’s thigh and sunk his
baby teeth into it. Payne exploded. “Get
this little monster off me!” Payne hopped
on his free leg and tried to kick Mark off his other one, but the tenacious
toddler clung to the doctor’s trousers, pressed his chest onto the doctor’s
knee, wept, clawed, grunted, bit and kept biting, as deeply and savagely as his
strength allowed. “I going to kill you,”
my little brother growled determinedly, between bites and tears. “I going to kill you!” Startlingly helpless, the specialist pleaded,
“For heaven’s sake, get him off me!”
Daddy raised his head.
His moist chocolate eyes narrowed into dark slits. Mum dug her nails deeply into Daddy’s
arm. Daddy didn’t move. Neither did Mum.
“What’s the matter with you people?! Can’t you see what he’s doing? For crying out loud, I got the damn
tooth! Now get this little monster off
me!”
I limped
out of the examination room. My head was
swathed in blood-soaked bandages. Daddy
rose to his feet. Slowly, he put one
foot in front of the other. Even more
slowly, he put the other foot in front of the one. At the pace of a drugged snail, he approached
and pried his son off the doctor. “Its
alright, Mark. Don’t cry anymore. Noely is
alright.”
“I going to kill him!
Lemme at him!” Trapped in Daddy’s
arms, Mark’s limbs thrashed and flailed at the empty air. “I GOING TO KIIIIILL YOU!” Mark howled down the hospital corridor. Dr. Hurt escaped into an
elevator.
Daddy relaxed his grip, and Mark slid out of his arms.
“Noely?” He flew to me, and flung
himself on me. “Oh Noely!” Mark squeezed me to him tighttighttight.
I no
longer cried; my skull could not withstand the pressure of crying. Gently, I placed my aching arms on my
brother’s head, and stroked it. Mum took
Mark’s hand, Daddy took my hand, and together we left the hospital, glumly
trudging to the waiting Chevrolet which had only two functioning doors so that
me and my little brother could sit safely in the back seats, without being in
danger of falling out.
About the author
S. Nadja Zajdman is a Canadian author. Her first short
story collection, Bent Branches, was published in 2012. Zajdman has had her
non-fiction as well as her fiction featured in newspapers, magazines, literary
journals and anthologies across North America, the U.K., Australia and New
Zealand. She has completed work on a second short story collection as well a
memoir of her mother, the pioneering Holocaust educator and activist Renata
Skotnicka-Zajdman, who passed away near the end of 2013.
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