by Louise Searl
nectar and coke
The shrill sound of the bell indicated
the start of the school day at St.Saviour's School. Miss Cobra, Deputy Head, was
on duty, checking uniforms and ensuring that no trainers were masquerading as
school shoes.
‘Johnnie, where's your tie?’
‘Dunno, Miss’.
‘Report to me at playtime. If it
hasn't turned up by then you will be doing a detention after school.’
‘Cheryll, remove all that make-up.This
is a school, not a film studio.’
Miss Cobra was not known for mincing
her words. However, her quest to spot evidence of Johnnie’s, Cheryl’s and
several other pupils' uniform malfunction that morning caused her not to spot a
pupil wearing a hoodie slip behind her and make her way along the corridor to
her classroom.
Members of Class 5B were waiting for
registration, in their usual undisciplined manner. If anything the noise level
increased when their form teacher, Mr Adder, hurried into the room, clutching
several folders and looking harassed. A newly qualified teacher, he was
beginning to regret his choice of career. In his anxiety to take the register
quickly Mr Adder ignored the fact several members of his class were still
wearing their coats, strictly not allowed. One of them was even wearing a
hoodie.
‘Five B, Five B please be quiet. I
need to take the register. No, Ali. you may not go to the toilet. You've only
been in school five minutes. Now, please settle down all of you.’
Meanwhile in the school office the
telephone was ringing constantly. Some of the calls were from parents explaining
that their child was unwell and would not be coming to school. A couple were
from children pretending to be their own parents, also explaining that their
child was unwell and would not be coming to school. Mrs Viper, the secretary,
had devised a cunning plan to catch the phoney phone-callers, and was busy
ringing the place of work of one of the alleged parents, to check the
story.
Class Five B, registration having at
last been accomplished, made its straggly way to the first lesson of the day,
science. Miss Cobra went to her office to draw up a long list of uniform deniers
she would see at break. They would need to come up with an impressive reason for
not being suitably attired and equipped, to escape an hour's after school
detention, or even a two hour detention in the case of serial offenders.
St.Saviour's School prided itself on its strict discipline policy and its
insistence on adherence to the school's rules and regulations. The school's
‘Outstanding’ Ofsted rating had recently been downgraded to ‘Good’ and the
slippery slope towards ‘Requires Improvement’ beckoned. Of course the quality of
teaching was of prime importance, and newly qualified teachers such as Mr Adder,
who were failing to live up to the promise they had displayed at interview. was
another problem pending for the school's senior management team.
In the school office the telephone
calls were becoming less frequent. The next call was from the local paper. Mrs
Viper braced herself for bad news. In her experience calls from that quarter
were usually based on reports featuring the misdemeanours of St.Saviour's
pupils. This one was different.
‘I wonder if you can confirm that a
pupil at your school was married over the weekend?’
Mrs Viper was not the head's right
hand woman for nothing.
‘No comment’ she replied
swiftly.
‘It's strange that she should get
married on Saturday and be back in school on Monday.'’
‘It would be if it was true,' replied
the secretary.
‘Don't you want to know who it
is?’
‘I'm sure you're going to tell
me’.
‘The girl's name is Medusa Gorgon and
she married a bloke called Poseidon.’
Far away, the goddess Athena had heard
the news two days previously. Her beautiful hand maiden Medusa, the only mortal
Gorgon, had broken her vow of chastity. Athena had acted swiftly.
In the science lab Medusa Gorgon was
at last being told to remove her hooded coat. As she took it off the children
nearest to her starting screaming. In a few seconds the whole class erupted in
chaos, and Mr Anaconda, the science teacher, had run for his life, The children
could not believe their eyes. In place of her beautiful blond hair Medusa's head
was alive with snakes, hissing and flashing their forked tongues in and out.
Some of them dropped to the ground, writhing in every direction as the children
rushed out of the lab. Medusa, the child bride, shook her head, but as some
snakes fell off more and more appeared, frantically swaying around her head.
News of what had happened spread like
wildfire throughout the school and most teachers told their classes to leave
school immediately and go home, and did the same themselves. However Miss Cobra
was made of sterner stuff. With Ofsted still uppermost in her mind, she stayed
in school, standing in the doorway nearest to the labs. Medusa, on her way back
into the main building, her hair writhing freely, stared at Miss Viper, who
stared back. The Deputy Head turned to stone.
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