by Dawn Knox
a calming cup of chamomile tea
Previously: Eddie has discovered the soup around the
island is shark-infested and the golf course is under the management of a mole
but now, he finds out there are much needed members of staff on the other side
of the island. Is he the right chicken to persuade them back?
Babs finished writing in her incident book.
With a Grade One First Aid badge, she was the most medically
qualified of the team. She re-read her entries:
- Staunched Gideon’s snout bleed and applied an ice pack to left eye.
- Removed dart from Brian’s shoulder, cleaned the puncture wound with antiseptic. Applied an ice pack to Brian’s right eye.
- Strapped suspected sprain of Colin’s right ankle with an elastic bandage. Applied pack of frozen peas to left and right eyes (No ice packs left).
- Inspected Eddie’s bruised beak. Slight dent but no sign of breakage. Applied pack of frozen peas. Administered analgesic for headache brought about when Deirdre smacked Eddie’s and Waldemeyer’s heads together, as well as for severe backache after Eddie fell off the table.
- Applied frozen peas to two bumps on Waldemeyer’s head. One from collision with Eddie’s head and one from falling backwards and striking a rock.
- N.B. Remind Deirdre to order more frozen peas.
Babs looked up at her patients, “Well, perhaps someone will
explain to me what that disgraceful behaviour was about…” She ignored Eddie who
still had a pad of gauze over his beak held in place with a large plaster. He
was ranting but his words were too muffled to hear.
“You can start,” Babs said pointing to Colin who’d raised his
hand.
“Eddie said he’d hurt his back after he fell off the table,
so I thought I’d help by walking up and down his spine. And then without warning
he launched himself at Waldemeyer. I managed to hold on for a bit but in the
end, I got thrown off.”
“And why did he launch himself at Waldemeyer?”
“Eddie overheard Waldemeyer say there were another six people
on the island and he went berserk…”
“And what happened to you two?” Babs asked Gideon and
Brian.
“He shot me with a dart!” said Brian with an outraged
expression.
“I have apologised most profusely, dear chap. I thought it
would be easier to see what was going on if I got out my torch. Unfortunately, I
forgot it was still loaded with darts and when I turned it on, I shot Brian. It
was a complete accident.”
“Numbskull!” said Brian.
“I say! There’s no need for name-calling,” said Gideon.
“No, indeed, there’s not,” said Babs, “I suggest you all
shake paws or whatever you have on the ends of your arms and put this behind
you. If you can’t work together, Eagles’ Rest is doomed… And let’s hope Ursula
Best doesn’t notice you all look as though you’ve been in a punch up. Now, I’m
not letting anyone leave the medical room until they assure me they’ll work as
part of a team. Anyone caught fighting from now on…” she stared sternly at
Eddie, “will be in for a dose of castor oil. And, perhaps, Waldemeyer, you’d
like to tell us who the other inhabitants of this island are and why we’ve not
met them yet…”
“They used to work for Manny Moore but he stopped paying
them, so they went on strike. They’re living on the far side of the island.”
“Well, why didn’t you tell us?” Brian asked.
“I’m sure I did,” said Waldemeyer.
“No, you didn’t!” screamed Eddie who’d finally peeled the
plaster off his beak. “I can’t sleep at night worrying because we don’t have
enough staff! I’d definitely have remembered an itsy-bitsy detail like
that!”
“What sort of jobs did they do?” Brian asked inserting
himself between Waldemeyer and Eddie.
“Luigi Spaghelli is a chef. His Spaghetti Bolognaise is the
finest in the world. The rest of them are waiters, cleaners, office staff… you
know, the usual people in a hotel.”
“Let’s go and bring them back to work,” suggested Brian, “The
sooner the better.”
“They may take a bit of persuading,” said Waldemeyer, “Manny
promised he’d pay them if they came back but he kept fobbing them off. You may
have to do more than offer them their old jobs back…”
“They surely wouldn’t expect back pay?”
“They might. Luigi is quite militant and the others do as he
tells them.”
“Well, we’re wasting time here,” said Eddie, “We might as
well go and meet them but first, we’ll stop at the golf course. Let’s go by golf
buggy, it’ll be faster than walking to the far side of the island and while
we’re there, I’ll fire Bruno Antellini.”
“You can’t do that!” Waldemeyer said.
“I don’t remember consulting you!” said Eddie.
“You haven’t consulted any of us,” said Brian, “in fact,
Eddie, you’re becoming rather bossy.”
“Someone has to take charge and earn us a thumbs up from
Ursula. We need someone decisive. Now, tell me why I can’t fire the
groundsmole…”
“Well, you can if you like, but I can assure you Luigi won’t
come back if you fire his brother.”
“Brother? But I thought you said Bruno’s surname was
Antellini.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Well you said Luigi’s name was Spaghetti—”
“Spaghelli.”
“Why don’t they have the same surname?”
“Ah, I see. No, you misunderstand me,” said Waldemeyer,
peeping about apprehensively. He lowered his voice “Luigi and Bruno aren’t
brothers, they’re brothers!“
“That makes the sort of sense I expect from you,” said Eddie
crossly.
Gideon stepped forward, a worried look on his face. “When you
say brothers, Waldemeyer, do you mean they belong to a
brotherhood?”
“Exactly,” said Waldemeyer.
“You mean the Cosa Nostra?” Gideon whispered, glancing
nervously right and left.
“I might,” said Waldemeyer doubtfully, “If I knew what that
meant.”
“I mean the M-Word,” Gideon persisted.
“Oh, yes, that’s the one,” said Waldemeyer.
Gideon gulped and turned white, “Oh no, Eddie old chap! I
hate to give you the bad news but Eagles’ Rest is a hub for organised
crime!”
“Is it?” asked Waldemeyer, “How d’you know?”
“We have two Mafia members on our island…”
“Do we?” asked Waldemeyer, his beak dropping open, “I didn’t
know! Well, who are they?”
“Luigi and Bruno. You’re the one who told us about
them!”
“No, I didn’t,” said Waldemeyer, shaking his
head.
“But you said they belonged to the Mafia,” said
Gideon.
“No, I didn’t!”
“Well, what did you mean by the M-Word?”
“Oh, that! Oh, no, no, no! Not that M-Word. Luigi and Bruno
used to belong to a…” he lowered his voice and looked about anxiously,
“monastery. But they ran away. It’s not the sort of place you simply walk out of
– you know what those cult members are like. That’s why they’re both here.
They’re on the run. So, if you fire Bruno, you’ll lose Luigi.”
“Right, well we’ll worry about hiring and firing after
Ursula’s visit. If things carry on in the same way, we’ll all be fired. So,
let’s go and get the golf buggy,” said Brian.
“This golf buggy is overloaded,” said Sat Nav
peevishly.
“Who asked you? And more to the point, who brought
you?” Eddie asked.
“She insisted on coming,” said Colin, “and to be fair, she
hasn’t been out on a journey for some time.”
“We’re not obliged to take her on outings! And we’re only
going across the island. It’s not a complicated journey,” said Eddie crossly,
stamping on the accelerator and hurtling towards the forest.
“Take the path between the two tallest date palms,” the sat
nav said loudly over the screams of the passengers.
“Which palms are they?” Brian yelled, clutching Colin with
one hand and the side rail with the other, “They’re all tall!”
“These!” Eddie yelled, making straight for the treeline.
“I still can’t see a gap!” shouted Brian, his eyeballs
repeatedly swivelling left and right.
“Slow down! Babs screamed from the rear seat, “We’ve got
young on board!”
“Well, I didn’t ask you to bring the kittens,” Eddie shouted
over his shoulder.
“But Deirdre couldn’t have left them on their
own.”
“We need to get to the other side of the island as soon as we
can. And if that means taking a few risks… well, so be it!” Eddie
yelled.
“#****!” Deirdre screeched.
Squashed in the middle of the front seat, with Eddie to his
left and Brian and Colin on his right, Waldemeyer covered his eyes with one wing
and jammed his feet against the front of the buggy to brace himself.
“Aargh!” screamed Brian as the vehicle lurched along the
narrow path and a low branch struck him, almost scooping Colin off his lap.
“Follow this path for three miles. Then you will arrive at
your destination,” Sat Nav said, “If you’re lucky,” she added in a quavering
voice.
“I don’t know why you bothered to bring her, Colin,” said
Eddie, “I could’ve easily worked out the route myself without the benefit of
satellite navigation.”
“I wish I hadn’t come, you’re driving like a maniac!” said
Sat Nav.
In the back, on the rear-facing seat, Gideon was flanked by
rabbits clutching kittens. He had nothing to hold on to and as the golf buggy
hit a rather vicious bump in the path, he was launched into the air. Mercifully,
the parachute training he’d received in his spying days returned to him and
milliseconds before impact, he remembered his trainer’s words, ‘Keep your knees
together and roll as you land’. He’d have been hard pressed to say afterwards
where his knees had been in relation to each other or the rest of his body – but
he’d definitely rolled. And rolled. In fact, he’d kept rolling until he reached
the bottom of the steep incline at the side of the path, and hit a boulder.
“Eddieeee!” Babs shouted, “Stop! Gideon’s fallen
off!”
“We’ll pick him up on the way back,” Eddie called, swerving
around a bend on two wheels.
“Y…you have arrived at your d…destination,” Sat Nav
stuttered, as they shot out of the forest on to a long, golden
beach.
After stomping on the brake, Eddie leapt from the vehicle and
shielding his eyes with one wing, he peered up and down the stretch of sand for
signs of life.
To their left, at the back of the beach, was a group of
thatched huts and several figures could be seen fishing in a canoe, in the
shallows.
“Eddie! Wait!” gasped Brian, still with Colin clinging to
him, “Remember we agreed I’m going to do the talking – when I get my breath
back, that is…”
“Well come on then,” said Eddie striding along the sand
towards the huts, “Hellooo! Is anybody home?” he yelled.
“Who wants to know?” a stocky mole, came out of one of the
huts.
“I do,” said Eddie, “My name is Eddie and I’m now in charge
of this island. I demand you all come back to work immediately—”
Before he could add anything else, Brian threw Colin at
Eddie’s head and hurled himself at the chicken’s legs in a rugby tackle.
Lying on his stomach in the sand, still holding on to Eddie’s
thrashing legs, Brian spat sand out of his mouth and looked up at the mole.
“Good morning,” he said politely, “My name is Brian and I’m
here on behalf of the new management of the island to negotiate with you and
your colleagues to see if we can come to some sort of mutual agreement about
your resumption of work.”
“Smooth talking!” said Colin who was sitting on Eddie’s
head.
“Mmmmfff!” said Eddie from under Colin’s bottom.
“We want zee private health care and zee back pay,”
Luigi, the Chef, said, his short, powerful forelimbs folded over his chest.
Behind him two squirrels nodded their heads in agreement.
“We’re currently experiencing a cash flow problem which means
we won’t be able to consider back pay until after Ursula Best and her team have
gone…” Brian said, “That is assuming we get a thumbs up, of course. But if we
don’t, then the resort will close anyway—”
“Did you say Ursula Best?” Luigi asked, blinking rapidly
behind his sunglasses.
“Yes, she’ll be here tomorrow—"
Luigi whistled shrilly and beckoned the squirrels who were
fishing in the canoe. They came running up the beach towards him when they saw
his frenzied signal and the strikers huddled together some way away from Brian
and Colin who still had Eddie pinned down on the sand.
Finally, Luigi broke away from the group and walked back to
Brian, Colin and Eddie. The squirrels followed.
“Si, we’ll come back to work but as soon as the resort
begins to make money, we want zee back pay,” Luigi said.
“Yes, agreed!” said Brian.
“Wait, I haven’t finished yet,” said Luigi, “We want a group
photo with Mees Best.”
“Well, I can’t promise that, but I’ll do my best,” said
Brian.
“He’ll do his best to get us a photo with Mees Best!” Luigi
roared with laughter and the squirrels joined in, squeaking with
delight.
“Well, they seem a jolly lot,” Colin whispered to Brian,
“let’s see if we can keep on the right side of them.”
“That might mean gagging Eddie,” said Brian.
“Good idea,” said Colin.
It soon became apparent that Eddie’s plan to bring back
the strikers had been flawed. The golf buggy had been overloaded on the way out
– despite inadvertently jettisoning Gideon halfway. So, to add one mole and six
squirrels to the number of passengers on the return journey presented a
challenge.
In the end, Luigi provided several ropes and tied a gagged
Eddie on the top of the buggy with four squirrels clinging on. Brian drove with
Colin on his lap, Waldemeyer sat in the middle and Luigi squeezed in next to
him.
“I can’t breathe with the steering wheel pressed against my
chest,” Colin wheezed.
“Well, it’s the best I can do. If you don’t like it, sit on
Waldemeyer’s lap,” Brian said crossly.
Colin eyed the gull critically, “He doesn’t seem to have a
lap,” he said.
In the rear, Babs, Deirdre, six kittens and two squirrels
were also tied in with rope, to prevent anyone doing a Gideon, as Deirdre
put it.
Brian turned on the ignition and released the
brake.
“Follow this path for two miles. Then you will arrive at your
destination,” Sat Nav said.
“Hang on a minute,” said Brian, “on the way here, you said
‘follow the path for three miles’. How can it only be two miles on the same way
back?”
“Don’t you know anything?” said the sat nav, “It’s always
faster on the return journey.”
Links to previous stories in The Macaroon Chronicles
series
- The Macaroon Chronicles Prologue and the Three Wise Monkeys - http://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-macaroon-chronicles-prologue-and.html?m=0
- #ChickenInCustard - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/02/chickenincustard.html
- The Fine Print - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/02/the-fine-print.html
- French for Cheese - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/02/french-for-cheese.html
- Porkies and Espiggy-onage (Lies and Spies) – https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/03/porkies-and-espiggy-onage-lies-and-spies.html
- Nearly Death by Chocolate - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/03/nearly-death-by-chocolate.html
- Waxing Lyrical - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/03/waxing-lyrical.html
- Seduced by Zeros - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/04/seduced-by-zeros.html
- Soup-Legs - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/04/soup-legs.html
- The Year’s Most Popular Christmas Toy - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/04/the-years-most-popular-christmas-toy.html
- Holey Night - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/05/holey-night.html
- Aleema - http://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/05/aleema.html
- Heading Home - http://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/05/heading-home.html
- Moore’s the Pity - http://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/06/moores-pity.html
- Eagles’ Rest - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/06/eagles-rest.html
- We Need A Thumbs Up! - https://cafelitcreativecafe.blogspot.com/2020/06/we-need-thumbs-up.html
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