Thursday 1 August 2024

The Post Box Topper Chronicles Sequel by Dawn Knox, Valentine’s Day Cocktail. Cranberry juice, vodka, raspberries and prosecco.


January had hardly begun before Vera realised she needed to decide on the February topper. Last year they’d featured Valentine’s Day. What would everyone want this year?

‘Valentine’s Day,’ Sally said, batting her eyelashes at Levi.

Well, that had been predictable.

What Vera hadn’t expected to see had been Levi nodding in agreement as he gazed lovingly back at Sally.

Vera looked to Petronella for some common sense.

‘We could feature the world’s most famous lovers,’ Petronella suggested. ‘Romeo and Juliet. Anthony and Cleopatra…’

‘But they died,’ said Vera. ‘Not a very cheery topic for the cold, dark month of February.’

‘How about the King and Mrs Simpson?’ asked Sally. ‘They’re famous lovers, but they didn’t die. Well, they did ultimately, but not because they fell in love.’

‘I think you’ll find her name was Mrs Parker-Bowles, not Mrs Simpson,’ Stuart said in his I-know-best voice.

‘No,’ said Sally, her eyes narrowed as she turned to Stuart. ‘I meant what I said. Mrs Simpson. Mrs Wallis Simpson.’

‘Good gracious! D’you mean to tell me the King has a new woman?’ Stuart asked. ‘That’s not the sort of behaviour I’d have expected.’

‘No, not King Charles. Sally’s referring to King Edward VIII,’ said Petronella in her I-know-best voice.

Stuart frowned at her. ‘There’s never been a King Edward VIII.’ But as everyone else stared at him unwaveringly, an edge of doubt crept into his voice. ‘Has there?’

‘I can assure you there has. He was never crowned, but he ruled for 325 days before he abdicated,’ Petronella said.

Things were getting off-topic.

‘So,’ said Vera brightly, before Stuart had to admit he was wrong. That always caused an unpleasant atmosphere. ‘Perhaps we’ll steer clear of star-crossed lovers for the February topper… What other ideas does anyone have other than Valentine’s Day?’

‘Shrove Tuesday and pancakes?’ suggested Beryl, who’d been hovering with her new Cake of the Day – Sydney Salted Caramel Slice. ‘I could sell them too. With different toppings.’

Vera could see how this would be beneficial to Beryl and Bonzer Buns, but not how they’d make an interesting display of knitted pancakes. With or without toppings.

‘What have you got against Valentine’s Day?’ Alice asked.

Vera glared at her. If she remembered rightly – and Vera always remembered rightly – Alice had sent her an email the previous year complaining the February Valentine’s creation was a ‘downright disgrace’ and a ‘blot on the Creaping Bottom High Road’.

‘I haven’t got anything against it. I’d just like to do something different,’ Vera said crossly.

‘Different? You want different?’ said Levi.

Vera didn’t like the far-away look in his eyes. It usually heralded an idea that was so far outside of the box, it needed a passport to get home.

‘You know those gadgets that keep firing balls when tennis players are practising?’ Levi asked.

Vera nodded. Where was this going? Definitely not in a direction she’d foreseen.

‘Well, we could have a large Eros with a bow. Using similar technology to the tennis ball launcher, I might be able to make something that could repeatedly fire knitted arrows.’

‘But they’d soon run out,’ said sensible Petronella.

Thank goodness. Vera was not in favour of firing arrows willy-nilly – even knitted ones.

‘Well, perhaps I could make a gadget to fire one arrow that remains attached and is then winched back inside to be fired again…’

‘No,’ said Vera. ‘Moving on…’

Unusually, despite the second helpings of Sydney Salted Caramel Slices and coffee, no decision had been made by the time Petronella and Sally needed to get back to work.

‘We’ll sleep on it and reconvene tomorrow,’ said Vera in a more upbeat manner than she felt. Suppose no one thought of anything new.

Well, Vera simply wouldn’t stand for it. That was all.

 

The following day, Vera sensed the members of the society were mutinous. Would they strike if she banned Valentine’s Day? And really, did she want to ban it? The idea of people getting cosy during a short, dark, cold month was appealing.

Perhaps she needed to rethink.

‘I’ve had a thought,’ said Levi.

Vera braced herself. This could be good, or it might be spectacularly bad…

‘Suppose we have a display like last year with the profusion of hearts…’

Stuart’s eyes lit up but before he could offer to knit more of his cabbage-like roses, Levi carried on, ‘But with no roses. However, the twist this year would be that we would knit lots of padlocks.’

Vera stared at him in disbelief. Padlocks? What sort of message was Levi trying to send? That Sally was shackling him?

But Sally was smiling at Levi, and even Petronella nodded in approval.

Even more surprisingly, Alice piped up, ‘Well, so long as they’re knitted. I’ve already reported the outrageously thoughtless, and not to mention untidy padlocks attached to the bridge over the river.’

‘I thought that was you,’ said Sally, with a sniff.

‘Wait!’ said Vera. ‘Are you telling me the Parish Council has taken to padlocking the bridge in place?’

‘No,’ said Petronella. ‘Quite the opposite. They’ve removed them all on Alice’s recommendation.’

‘The combined weight of all those padlocks might eventually be too much, and the bridge would collapse.’ Alice crossed her arms over her chest.

‘Nonsense! You just don’t like to think of anyone else being happy, that’s all,’ said Sally.

Vera was grateful to Beryl, who inserted herself between Alice and Sally. ‘What a bonzer idea and I could sell Valentine Padlock Pancakes. Yes! I could cut them out into a heart shape with the shackle at the top and then pipe chocolate initials on them.’

Everyone had a view and Vera recognised she’d lost control of the meeting. However, it turned out to be a blessing because, from the discussions about Beryl’s pancakes, Vera finally worked out what everyone was talking about.

Fancy that! Couples often attached a padlock with their initials on it to a bridge as an enduring memento of their love. However, it appeared they weren’t always as enduring as intended, once someone like Alice had reported them and the padlocks had been cut off.

‘What we could do if Vera agrees,’ said Levi, ‘is to ask people to sponsor a padlock. We can sew on their initials, and the money can go to… um…’

‘Well, that’s obvious,’ said Stuart. ‘The money should go to the British Heart Foundation.’

 

So many people requested knitted padlocks, they had to knit more hearts to prevent the topper from looking like an explosion in a hardware store. Overall, however, the topper had been another enormous success, raising lots of money for the heart charity. Beryl had made a fortune, too, selling her pancakes.

Everyone was happy. Except for two sets of lovers who’d broken up after they’d commissioned their personal padlocks. They’d both demanded theirs be removed.

Well, that was life, sadly. Relationships began and ended.

Vera had heard that their topper had prompted Tilly Dawkins and Shane Fowle, the lad who’d stolen hearts from their Valentine topper the previous year, to get together.

During the last year, Shane had grown up and filled out. According to Tilly, he’d become ‘a right fit guy,’ and although at first, he’d feigned a lack of interest in the girl who’d spurned him a year ago, they were now an item.

That morning, Tilly had asked for a knitted padlock. Something akin to a smile had lifted her features from their habitual frown, and Vera thought that, for once, she looked quite normal.

However, it was while Vera had been hunting for the two knitted padlocks to give back to the lovers who were no more, she came across two interesting padlocks.

Admittedly, the first wasn’t very remarkable. LvR & SB. Well, obviously Levi von Regenschirm & Sally Bobbin. Only to be expected. And really, rather lovely to see.

The second was rather chunky and more of a conundrum. SM & AG. Those initials were not on her list, and she hoped whoever they were, they’d donated to charity.

Vera tried to think of people in Creaping Bottom with those initials, but the only ones she could come up with were unthinkable. Of course, the CBPBS toppers had gone viral and someone from anywhere in the world could have knitted it and added it clandestinely to the topper. Other people might use chunky wool and fat knitting needles just like Stuart, but really, what were the chances? Still, Vera couldn’t quite believe it… Stuart McPhail and Alice Gruber?

Well, why not?

Anyway, Vera had more to consider than sticking her nose into others’ affairs. There was the March topper to consider…

 

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About the author

Dawn has four books in the ‘Chronicles Chronicles’ series – ‘The Basilwade Chronicles’, ‘The Macaroon Chronicles’, 'The Crispin Chronicles' and the latest is 'The Post Box Topper Chronicles' published by Chapeltown Publishing. 

You can follow her here on https://dawnknox.com 

on Twitter: https://twitter.com/SunriseCalls 

Amazon Author: http://mybook.to/DawnKnox 

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