Sal is now living in a retirement complex. It had not been an easy decision to give up the home she had lived in for fifty years but it was a necessary decision. The stairs were a problem. Or at least the stairs were not a problem, they were sturdy well-carpeted stairs – Sal was the problem. Owing to her arthritis she was finding them increasingly difficult to go up or down. She went up slowly and came down slowly on her bottom and then heaved herself upright holding on to the banister. All this was neither comfortable nor dignified. She had thought of bringing her bed downstairs. There was room for a single bed in the dining room but the shower was upstairs, as was the bath although it had been ages since she managed to get in or out of her bath. So alternative accommodation had to be found. She had no wish to be found at the bottom of her stairs by well-meaning firemen or policemen.
Sal looked at retirement homes where she would get a bedroom with an en suite but she reckoned she would find existence in one of these places too restricting. She liked to get out and about with help and someone to push a wheelchair and she still had all her wits about her. The homes she looked at seemed to be overflowing with old souls who had dementia. Sal knew she would need that sort of care one day – but not yet.
She eventually chose a retirement complex where she would have her own small flat – a combined sitting room and bedroom, small kitchen and bathroom – and where she could also mix and mingle with the other residents if she chose to. It also offered extra care for later on should Sal need it. Sal could take the accommodation furnished or unfurnished. She chose unfurnished and her move was accompanied by familiar furnishings and her favourite things.
A downside was that this level of care was expensive and Sal felt she had to discuss this extra outlay of money with her two grown up children. She had the money but she hoped to leave as much money as she could to her children and if they neither needed nor wanted it, it could be shared amongst her grandchildren. This care would, unfortunately, eat into the money she had saved, should she live a long time, and she felt she had to have her children’s approval for this. If only she knew how long she had to live, approximately would do.
Another reason to find good care was Sal’s determination not to become a burden to her children. They had their own lives and she did not want the care of and responsibility for an elderly and infirm lady to be theirs. As far as Sal was concerned in no way would she move to be with them or nearer them and, as she aged, in no way would she expect them to visit her more than they did at present. So, although both children would have had their mother to live with them, they knew it would not be a happy move for any of them, especially Sal. Hugh and Helen were delighted she had found something that might suit her
Furthermore, her children said she must go for the right sort of care for her and that their inheritance should not be a factor in her decision. Her son, Hugh, lived in Brussels with his Belgian wife and children. He was a Russia expert having studied Russian at university and had spent a year there for his degree. In those days, nearly thirty years ago, Russia was a different place, a safer place, and Hugh had a few happy years working in Moscow after he graduated. He now worked in Brussels, having returned to Western Europe when Vladimir Putin came to power. Sal can remember a conversation she and her late husband, Hugh’s dad, had with Hugh in his early years in Moscow. He had said that it was a great place to be, he was very happy there, the people were very friendly but there was this new guy on the scene who Hugh, and a few others, did not trust him one bit. He was ex-KGB and clearly had plans for his and Russia’s future. She remembers Hugh saying “We will have to keep a close eye on this chap.” Hugh was kept very busy these days following this chap.
Her daughter Helen lived in South Wales with her vicar husband. Helen had been ordained as a minister too and, of course, the usual times when elderly relatives would be visited such as weekends, Christmas and Easter were their busy times. But Sal did not mind this. She was pleased and proud that her children had happy families and interesting careers and that was good enough for her.
So Sal is in her new place of abode. I will call it “Dunroamin” she said to herself. It was OK. She figured that contentment would come eventually but for now she was happy to feel safe. Also she had not been completely happy at her old home since her husband had died; there were too many memories, mostly happy ones, but some nevertheless took her back to the bad days of her husband’s long illness before he died. This was definitely the time to move on.
And there were things to keep her busy in “Dunroamin”. A delightful volunteer took her and a wheelchair out shopping every Wednesday afternoon where she bought the things she needed to cook for herself and whatever else she might need. A couple of times a week Sal ate with the other residents but she was determined to be as independent as possible for as long as possible and these shopping outings and cooking for herself were very important to her.
Quite often she made her way to the residents' lounge helped by her Zimmer frame with basket on the front where she kept her books, her knitting and her puzzles. She kept busy there and made friends. There were a few ladies and gentlemen who were in the same position a she was – still as sharp as a tack alongside physical failings.
She was pleased to report to Hugh and Helen that it had been a good move – and it was. And Hugh and Helen both breathed a sigh of relief for all the right reasons.
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Love this story. I'm glad Sal found safe accommodation.
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