Billy walked out of the school gates. He felt light and full to the point of bursting at his good news.
“I am over here,” his mum waved from the window of her little blue mini. Billy felt a rush of joyful emotion as he spotted her.
This morning in assembly, Billy had been surprised when the headmaster, Mr Dringle had announced that he had been awarded a special prize for his successes in the school tests. He had come top in five out of seven subjects and second in the other two. Proudly he had opened the winner’s envelope to discover a gift card to spend at Harlington’s Department Store.
All day long, he had bubbled with excitement at the thought of telling his Mum. It seemed to take forever for the hands of the clock to slowly tick round to half past three and end of day school bell.
As Billy drew nearer to the car all the good feelings of earlier, begin to dissolve as he saw her strained face thorough the glass. A hot flame of resentment shot through him. What was wrong now? However, of course he knew what was wrong. It was always the same when he wanted to tell her something. When he wanted her to be interested in him there always seemed to be something else to distract her. And that something was usually his brother Terry. In fact, his mum’s attention was always focused on Terry. He remembered a time when it had been himself that had been the centre of her world. But as soon as Terry was born and his disability diagnosed everything had changed.
"I am very sorry but your son has Cerebral Palsy," the doctor had explained to Mum.
Billy opened the car door but his excitement had already melted away. He had grown accustomed to the pressures that his brother’s disability brought on their family.
Some days his parents' apparent lack of interest felt like just a dull ache for him that he could deal with. He could would push it to the back of his mind and seek solace in his friends and school. Other times he wanted to scream. A long deafening scream to vent out his frustration.
His mum never took her worries out on him and was always calm towards him. However, more frequently than not she seemed distant, as if she may as well have not been there with a heaviness weighing on her mind. Sometimes Billy thought that it might have been better had she been angry with him, out letting her emotion rather than this indifference.
On good days, the three of them would go out on trips. However, it usually seemed to be a succession of getting Timmy in and out of his chair. The never ending of unbuckling and buckling up of his seat belt. There would be laughs but his mother always hovered protectively about Terry. On bad days, his parents barely even seemed to notice Billy as they rushed about tending to Terry. Then Billy was sent to stay with his grandmother.
Inside Billy felt a deep turmoil, which would rage and subside depending on the day. Guiltily he always tried to push these thoughts from his mind but they seem to nag away at him. His brother was a gentle spirit who adored his older brother. He was always smiling and trying to grab onto Billy’s hand. Billy felt torn between the love for his brother and sometimes wishing his brother was far away.
He climbed into the car. His mother’s tear face silenced his news.
“Billy, Terry is in hospital. He fell out his chair and hit his head on the ground. Your dad is with him now.”
Billy’s cheeks flushed pink at the feelings that he had been harbouring against his little brother. How many times had he wondered how life might be without Terry? Now this might actually become a reality.
The drive to the hospital seemed to take an eternity. Billy sat in silence – he could feel his prize in his pocket but the joy of receiving it had long been forgotten.
When they arrived at the hospital, they went straight to the children’s wing. As they walked down the corridor and through the doors of the ward, they saw Billy’s dad. A tear glistened on his face.
“It’s Terry,” said his dad. “He’s going to be alright.”
The surge of relief and lifting of guilt from Billy’s shoulders came as a total surprise to him. The overwhelming happiness that Terry was going to be okay far outweighed any prize.
"Now how was your day at school?" said his Mum.
"It will wait, Mum," replied Billy as he held his brother's hand. “But do you think when you drive home we could go into Harlington’s? I would like to buy a present for Terry.”
About the author
Philippa has written four print books, one audio story and had short stories and poems in magazines and anthologies. I have written many assemblies for SPCK Publishing. Philippa enjoys creativity in all its form from the written word to charity promotions and performance.
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