Half-Full was having a conversation with his brother, Half-Empty.
“Look it’s the famous presenter, Charlie Chatter! Fancy him coming in here? He was on TV ten years ago – what a legend! Gracing us with his lips!”
“Ten years ago – nobody remembers that far back. He’s an old has-been – I didn’t even recognize him. And his lips look slobbery to me.”
It didn’t matter what the issue was. Half-Full and Half-Empty could never agree on anything.
Outwardly, the brothers looked the same. They were both tall glasses tapering upwards from the bottom in a v shape. The clear liquid contained in each glass was measured to exactly the same level. Half-way. However, their characters were very different.
The pair lived in Kooky café. Mrs. Van-Grubble that ran it had inherited them from the previous shop owner, a fortuneteller named Mystic Marg. They would sit on the counter and pass comments. Most people thought that the talking glasses were a funny novelty and did not take too much notice of their opinions. However sometimes they upset customers.
One day, a man with a bushy beard came in. He was thirsty and he grabbed both glasses before they had a chance to run away. With a loud gulp, he swigged first from one glass and then the other.
“My, you were thirsty,” said Half-Full refilling himself under the tap. “You sounded like you enjoyed that.”
“Thirsty?” replied Half-Empty as he too refilled. “More like greedy. What a disgusting noise you make. Please don’t buy dinner in here; I can’t imagine what sound you make eating.”
The man was furious. “I didn’t pay to be insulted,” he shouted. “How dare you?”
“I am terribly sorry,” said Mrs. Van-Grubber. “But you are right. All the pair of you does is squabble. Please leave.”
“Don’t worry; I am sure we will find another job.” Half-Full hopped along the street. “Look on it as an opportunity to expand our horizons.”
“Doing what?” replied Half-Empty. “Our best days are behind us.”
Voices were coming from the park. A young woman was twirling around in a blue dress. “Adriana, do you like this?” she asked her friend.
“Oh, yes, Miranda.” Adriana clapped her hands. “I am going to get one too.”
The glasses could not stop themselves.
“Yes, it looks great,” Half-Full, grinned. “Aquamarine a very popular colour. And that style is very in now! ”
“What he means is that everyone is wearing it,” Half-Empty said. “So you will look the same as them. Also, it is “in” now but how long before it is “out” of fashion? It is probably a just a fad. ”
“Oh!” cried Miranda.
“Really sorry about him,” Half-Full apologized. “He knows nothing about clothes.”
“On the contrary.” Miranda took out a receipt from her handbag. “I have only just bought this so I am returning it to get something more exclusive. Thank you so much for your advice!”
“Do you know a place we stay,” said Half-Full. “We are also looking for a job.”
“My father is the editor at the town’s newspaper, The Nattering Express.” Miranda scrawled the address on a scrap of paper. “He mentioned something about needing new reporters. Go and see him.”
That night, the glasses stayed under a hedge.
“This is different,” sighed Half-Full. “Sleeping under the stars at one with nature. Just breathe in that fresh air!”
“Fresh isn’t the word for it,” complained Half-Empty. “It’s freezing. And look at those mangy creatures.”
A hedgehog scuttled by and a fox stopped to scratch itself.
The next day, Half-Full and Half-Empty arrived at The Nattering Express. As they entered, a strong smell of coffee greeted them. A tired looking percolator was heating in the corner. It looked like it was perpetually on the go, with brown burn stains around the edge.
A large burly man was typing at a computer. “Nice to meet you guys,” he said. “I’ve been expecting you. Miranda told me all about you. She is delighted because she went to a party last night and three other girls were wearing the dress you saw. Fortunately you had warned her, but it could have been a disaster!”
Half-Empty shot Half-Full a superior look. Result!
“I was right,” he hissed to Half-Full.
“Hello, I’m Half-Full,” Half-Full ignored his brother’s remark. “And this is my brother Half-Empty.”
“Welcome” replied the burly man. “I’m Scott. I run this newspaper. My critic reviewer has left to join a national newspaper so I need someone ASAP who can review for me.”
“But we aren’t journalists?” said Half-Empty.
“But we can learn,” said Half-Full
“Remember everyone has a right to their opinion,” said Scott. “That is why Miranda told you to come here. And I agree. It is a wonderful idea to have both your thoughts! “
“Two for the price of one,” laughed Half-Full.
“Yes, exactly – two for the price of one!” moaned Half-Empty.
“We haven’t started yet,” Half-Full hopped about. “Let’s see how it goes.”
“I’ll give you a week’s trial,” said Scott. “It will give you time to understand how I work. You can stay here but I need you to start right away. Tonight a show opens at the Majestic Theatre with the opera star, Griselda DuPont. I would like you report on it. What do you think?”
“Yes!” replied Half-Full. “It will make a change from sitting in Kooky Café.”
“Exactly. We’ve never been further than the cafe, let alone visit a theatre,” scowled Half-Empty. “We know nothing about music.”
“At the moment, we don’t have a choice,” whispered Half-Full. “So give it a try for now. It will be a learning curve.”
So later that day, the pair trotted off to the theatre. They had seats in the front row. Half-Full sat in raptures at seeing live entertainment. Half-Empty kept looking at the clock.
They hadn’t even got back to the office before they were arguing over what they saw.
“What a powerful voice!” gushed Half-Full. “That star could sure hit the high notes! You could hear her in the bar. A classic!”
“What a racket!” complained Half-Empty. “I couldn’t hear myself think, she was so loud. Out-dated and old-fashioned!”
Scott was delighted when he read their work. “We will put a promo in each week, advertising what next week’s review topic will be and the public can join in the debate!”
On Friday, the newspaper was published. On the centre pages was Half-Full and Half-Empty’s first review columns. The readers thoroughly enjoyed the forthright opinions of the two glasses. Word spread and soon people were clamoring for their own thoughts to appear alongside the pair.
It just so happened that the producer, Billy Big-Cheese of the TV show A Country’s Got Talent was visiting a friend who lived in the town. At the railway station, he found a copy of The Nattering Express on the seat. When he saw the reviews, he called the paper.
“I’d like to make you an offer,” Billy said to Half-Full and Half-Empty. “I am looking for a new judge for the show and you would both be perfect!”
“Two for the price of one!” Half-Full laughed.
“Yes, exactly!” grumbled Half-Empty but for once they both agreed. They took the offer.
On the day of the broadcast, when a car arrived to take them to the studio, Scott wished them good luck.
“Who would have thought that you could make a success out of being yourself?” Half-Full beamed happily.
“We haven’t been on the TV yet,” Half-Empty, reminded him. “It might go wrong.”
“Just remember, it is possible to be both half full and half empty!” Scott waved them goodbye. “It just depends on which way you look at it!”
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