Friday, 31 January 2025

Elected Silence, Sing to Me by Sarah Das Gupta, hot chocolate with pink marshmallows on top

As the hammer blows echoed across the fields, Lauren glanced sideways at the boy standing beside her. He must have been fifteen at least. He was two classes above her at school, though he rarely attended. Yes, he was small for his age and seemed almost scared to meet her gaze. Yet, Luke was relaxed there, in the field with her father, the horses grazing quietly in the distance, the dogs busy sniffing along the hedgerow.

“Here Luke, grab this post. I need to give it another bash,” her father called to the boy who was absorbed in watching the dogs now off on the scent of a rabbit.

Lauren noticed how he nodded in response, walking over to hold the large spruce post. He never even flinched as the sound of the heavy sledge hammer broke the peace of the early summer morning.

“Thanks, great job – only a couple to go,” her father said, picking up an old sack which served as a tool box.

They moved on down the hedgerow. Luke was dragging the two remaining posts. Her father, in his ancient mac, tied up with orange binder twine, dragged the sack through the long grass, the tools inside jangling as he went.

The dogs, tired of looking for phantom rabbits, had made off to a more promising hunting ground. Their frantic barking rang across the valley from the wood beyond.

“Luke, why don’t you go and bring those damned dogs back? Lauren can help with the last two posts.”

In seconds, a figure in old jeans and a bright red t-shirt could be seen on the other side of the valley, near the dark edge of the wood. Lauren held the post rather gingerly as the heavy hammer blows resounded, a little too near her fingers for comfort!

As they were finishing the final post, the two beagles appeared, their black and tan coats shining in the sun. They trotted quietly along in front of Luke as if they were the most obedient of hounds and the thought of rabbits had never entered their heads! They looked back waiting for the boy who bent down, fondling the dogs’ ears, and seeming to whisper to them but Lauren never saw his lips move.

 

It was already autumn and the ground round the field gate where the horses collected was a foot deep in mud. Lauren could feel her wellingtons in danger of being sucked off. As she was leading a pony out through this quagmire, she caught sight of Luke struggling to open a shed door. He seemed to be holding something fragile in his hand. She remembered her father had given him the old garden hut as a refuge for the various small mammals, birds and insects he often rescued.

Later that evening, after shutting up the chicken, Lauren quietly opened the shed door, closing it behind her. She was surprised to see Luke sitting on an old stool patiently feeding a brown bird with tiny pieces of minced meat. He had fixed a torch on the shelf behind him so he had enough light for the task. The torch threw strange shadows on the wooden walls of the hut and framed Luke and the trembling bird as in a picture. He hardly looked up at Lauren’s entrance but continued his patient efforts to persuade the frightened bird to eat. Lauren gazed into the dark space beyond the circle of light. She could hear strange noises of scurrying feet, fluttering wings and occasional squeaking! Nodding quickly at Luke, still engrossed in his efforts, she slipped quietly through the door.

That night, Lauren asked her father about Luke, the creatures in the old shed and the boy’s silence.

“What’s wrong with him, Dad? He never says a word. It’s quite spooky!”

“There’s nothing wrong with a nice bit of peace and quiet. Most kids talk far too much. Luke’s a great boy. He just can’t speak in a big group or to strangers, people he doesn’t. trust. Apparently, it’s called ‘elective mutism’ in medical books. To me, he’s amazing with animals and we get on like a house on fire.”

 With this her father picked up the newspaper. For him the discussion was over.

 

One evening, a few weeks later, the phone rang. It was the Chairman of the local Cricket Club and he certainly had not phoned for a pleasant chat!   

“Your damned horses are on the village cricket pitch. They’re making a hell of a mess. Looks like a ploughed field! Hoof prints all over the place...” 

Lauren quickly pulled on her boots and grabbed her coat, following her father into the yard. He had already started the car as she jumped in. Several expletives later, amidst angry comments from her father as to why people shouted, instead of using a telephone, they drew up in front of the cricket pavilion.

In the darkness they could see shadows wandering over the sacred grass, some actually eating it. Walking round the crease at the pavilion end, even Lauren, never a cricket fan, could see the damage and feel it through her rubber boots!

Suddenly a shadow, human rather than equine, appeared from the edge of the sports field. Luke walked quietly up to Corky, the leader of the pack and the most obstinate. The boy patted the grey horse, stroked his neck and held him gently by the forelock. As the horse and boy walked off down the lane leading home, one by one the others followed. The sound of metal on the flinty lane echoed strangely in the darkness. Lauren’s father’s only comment as they drove back was, “A good thing if more people kept quiet!”

 

It was the beginning of the Spring Term, one of those rare February days when the pale winter sun entices early daffodils and crocuses to break through the frosty earth. Lauren sat   on the wall at the end of the school playground. She was eating crisps and watching girls practising their shooting with a netball which often got tangled up with junior girls skipping.

Suddenly, she heard shouting and the sounds of fighting on the other side of the wall. Here  was a patch of rough grass leading down to the boundary fence. There was a struggling heap of boys who seemed to be intent on kicking someone or something underneath this heaving pile. Elbows and legs were viciously directed at the unseen target! 

Loudly, the school bell rang the end of morning break! Boys began to extricate themselves from the tangled heap. Straightening their ties, tucking in their shirts, they ran back to school. Looking back, one boy yelled, "Luke Mortimer, you’re not even a bloody monkey! They can at least open their bloody mouths.”

Lauren looked at Luke, his hair tangled, almost garrotted by his tie, blood dripping from his bruised nose. She jumped down from the wall, but before she could say anything, Luke had clambered over the back fence and run off down the lane.

After school, Lauren was in the long barn which housed the incubators. At this time of year, the goslings were beginning to hatch. Sometimes her father would give the young birds a helping hand by making a small hole in the shell or cracking it slightly. As she looked at the youngsters which had just hatched, Lauren gently put them under a warm lamp to dry off. Hearing footsteps, she turned to see Luke standing behind her.

He was in his usual t-shirt and jeans. His nose looked bruised, but otherwise there was no sign of the fight that morning. He picked up one gosling which seemed unable to stand. Every time it struggled to its webbed feet, its legs gave way. It ended up with its orange legs uselessly splayed beneath it. Cradling the small bird in his hand, Luke reached in his pocket for a ball of string and some old matchsticks. Silently handing the gosling to Lauren, Luke carefully tied a matchstick to each leg. The bird was completely still as if it knew these improvised splints would give it a chance of survival. Lauren saw the smile on Luke’s face as the gosling and his matchsticks walked across the pen to claim a place under the light!

Late March, trees were beginning to come into leaf. It would soon be time for the early horse shows and gymkhanas. Riding along through the woods, her mind filled with thoughts of the approaching summer, Lauren was not prepared for a sudden gunshot close to the edge of the bridle path. Her pony, perhaps dreaming of spring grass, was equally startled. It shied quickly to the right and bolted back up the track, leaving Lauren in a muddy puddle with an agonising pain in her ankle!

Time was passing and it was already quite dark in the woods. Lauren had managed to pull herself up onto the drier grass at the side of the path. She had a throbbing headache and her ankle had swollen so that she couldn’t take her boot off. Every time she tried to stand, she fell back into the long grass. It was impossible to put any weight on her right foot. She knew the woods well but as night fell, it was a different matter. The trees became strange, dark shapes and she could hear something moving in the grass. An insect ran over her hand, an owl was hooting close by. A tear ran slowly down her cheek. Why did she never listen?

Dad had told her to always have her mobile in her pocket!

At last, in the distance, she could see a torch light which seemed to be bobbing along under its own steam. Lauren tried to shout out, scream, yell, anything to get attention. Nothing came out. She was completely dumbstruck!

As the light came nearer, she could see a familiar figure, an old duffle coat over a red t-shirt and jeans. Lauren had never been so relieved to see anyone as she was to see Luke emerge from the darkness! She was too overcome to speak. Bending down, Luke looked at the swollen ankle. He spoke softly and slowly,” We looked everywhere, no luck. I knew the wood was the last chance. Lean on me. By the way, that gosling with the splints is doing fine!” 

About the author  


Sarah Das Gupta is an ex- teacher, aged 82, who worked in UK, India, Africa. She is learning to walk again, after an accident. Her work has been published in over twenty different countries. She is a nominee for Best of the Net and Dwarf star. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Thursday, 30 January 2025

Cycles by Steve Gerson, champaign

May 1946 after a two-week romance in Cologne after two weeks at Buchenwald offering succor to survivors as a second lieutenant WAC nurse the smell of evil on her clothes ash sifting through the air like charred innocence she and Bob an aviator sailed the Atlantic a champaign bottle crashing skeletal on the ship's bow they settled in her hometown to begin a life after the war’s death.

They found their first GI Bill house northeast of the city where sun rose where the shadow of trees waited to grow beneath moon to stars starshine kindling as dusk dawns and children were born a daughter another daughter a son Bob flew commercial she a public health nurse administering TB shots to the city's Black and Brown have-nots a sea away from those she tended who wore stripes hanging half-mast on stick figures more marrow than flesh.

Then Bob left as men do she alone a single mom bent like a gallows over bills stacked higher than caskets her life a gyre spiraling through the town’s undulating valleys but the children grew like the city diadems glowing in the pulse of postwar pride and they moved southeast a better school district following the city's river as it wended like hope riding to tidal rise.

The children achieved college careers anointing their classrooms with her humanity and she supplemented her black and white life painting pastel rivers that rushed and bridges that connected the city's labyrinth caring for grandchildren showing them the color within art contrasting her holocaust’s gray.
And she moved once more southwest toward the setting sun and died to complications from the evil she inhaled decades ago and trees turned from green to red to brown leaves skittering like birds flown a 21-gun salute celebrating her life in the graveyard across from a school's joyful playground tears wetting plants to growth and seasons spooled woof to warp like the quilt of her life's cycle January 2007.
 

About the author 

 Steve Gerson writes poetry and flash about life's dissonance. He has published in CafeLit, Panoplyzine, Crack the Spine, Vermilion, In Parentheses, and more, plus his chapbooks Once Planed Straight; Viral; and the soon to be published The 13th Floor: Step into Anxiety from Spartan Press. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Wednesday, 29 January 2025

the elevator party by Tony Rauch, some cheap, domestic swill

I’m all keyed up and alert. The weekend seemed so short because I knew I had to get into work early 

on Monday morning. I even brought a number of files home and worked on them. Gee whiz, I mean 

heck, the weekend just flew by. And now here I am, back in the lobby alone. The lobby is unusually 

clean. The tiles sparkle. I’ve never been here this early. No one is around. It feels so odd to be here like 

this. Traffic on the way in was unusually light. I know today isn’t a holiday, or at least it doesn’t feel 

like a holiday, so it must be due to my early rising. 

I wait as the elevator comes down. It dings and opens. I step forward to step in, anxious to get to work, to dig in, make a good impression, learn more of my craft, get things done, contribute. But then I have to stop abruptly. Lying sprawled on the floor of the elevator are two of my bosses – Andersen and Parkside. Empty beer bottles scatter around them. Some spill out into the lobby to spin and roll past my feet.

Andersen has two bottles held above his head. He is pouring beer into his mouth from both. Parkside’s head sways groggily. His eyes are half open. He gazes up at me, then finally says, “Come on, Davis, let’s get shit-faced.” He raises an arm feebly to form a fist above his head. His arm wobbles like a wet noodle.

Their suits are soaked and sloppily twisted. Their hair is matted and messed. They lay sprawled in a bath of amber bottles.

Andersen lowers both bottles, letting them spill all over him. “Woo-hoo,” he exhales weakly. His eyes are also half open. He has a lazy smile on his tired face. His leg flops down, scattering more empties into the lobby. They clink as they spin around me.

Instinctively I look at my watch. I look around to make sure no one is coming. I don’t want anyone to see them like this. I don’t want them to be embarrassed or get into trouble. They’re my bosses, but they’re OK bosses. They’re OK fellas, after all, and I want to protect them. I bend and reach to pull Parkside up. “Come on in,” he waves drunkenly.

“Yeah, come on, Davis, let’s party,” Andersen points at me. Parkside lazily reaches his leg up, half-heartedly kicking up at the control buttons. He doesn’t come within a foot of them. Then he looks about absentmindedly and slurs, “Little room must be broken.” A sad, disappointed expression swells across his big, sloppy face.

“Take us up, Captain,” Andersen spits groggily while trying to wave his arm, but it just flops into his lap as if it were broken. Parkside lifts an old eight-track tape player – a round red one, the size of a volleyball. He pushes a tape in dramatically and raises a defiant fist. “Ain’t ya ever been to a good ol’ fashioned elevator party before?” The opening chords to Ted Nugent’s “Free for all” chime out - “Na NananaNah - Na NananaNah - Na NananaNah” The music is loud and distorted as it warbles and stumbles around in the elevator cab.

“You guys sat in here and drank all night?” I bend my knees to lower myself, squatting before them. I hope they’re not too drunk. I get frustrated when I can’t connect with people. I’ve got so much work to do, I really don’t need this right now. I don’t want to see them get in trouble. I’ve seen way too much trouble for one life, way too many bad things. And I hate sitting around explaining things to other people, trying to unravel the unexplainable, trying to answer all those questions. I really don’t know what to do with this situation. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers, step on anyone’s toes.

“Naw,” Parkside  shakes his head. “Not all night.”

Andersen looks over at Parkside and they both shake their heads, as if checking with one another, “Not all night. We ran around naked for a while.”

“That was fun,” Parkside nods dramatically.

“Through the halls, screaming and whooping,” nods Andersen.

“We watched ‘Planet Of The Apes’ a few times.” Parkside kicks away some empty paper bags from a fast food joint and empty potato chip bags to reveal a small old t.v. with a built-in tape player.

Get yer stinkin’ paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” Andersen cries into the air, then kicks the side of the elevator and pounds his fist on the floor.

I look around nervously, down each side of the lobby. I check my watch again. They’ll be coming in soon. Maybe I can get them to sleep it off in a conference room or something. I reach to pick up a bottle, but it scoots away from me, bumping and clinking into other empty bottles on the slick, shiny tile floor. I pick one up, hold it close to me, then reach for another. “Na NananaNah - Na NananaNah - Na NananaNah” As I pick it up, the first bottle I am clutching to my chest falls through my arms and hits the tile floor with a loud clank. I reach for more, but they spin away, bouncing off my fingers. Andersen cracks open another beer with a lazy, relaxed smirk. He raises and presents it to me as a toast or salute. I see him mouth the word “Party” but he is saying it long and slow, to preserve its meaning as a proclamation in the air, a proclamation to eternity. “Pppaaarrrtttteeeeeeeeee,” he nods slowly and dramatically, really drawing it out. But I don’t hear him over the music. And that’s when I notice my watch. In astonishment I realize it is, in fact, not bright and early on a crisp Monday morning. It is actually Sunday morning! I slap my forehead in relief and drop back to sit on the floor. No wonder the weekend seemed so fast. No wonder there was barely any traffic. No wonder no one is around. It actually is Sunday morning. I had been too busy and keyed up to notice. The time just flew by. I worked super late on Friday night, and Saturday was just a warm flash that slipped through my shaky grasp.

I lean forward, back onto the balls of my feet, crouching, bottles slowly rolling around me, the ‘Nuge throbbing in the elevator. I reach to Parkside and he raises a frosty cold one up to me, his head nodding to the distorted, celebratory rhythms flashing in the air as Andersen grins and waves me aboard. 

About the author 

Tony Rauch has four books of short stories published – I’m right here (spout press), Laredo (Eraserhead Press), Eyeballs growing all over me . . . again (Eraserhead Press), and What if I got down on my knees? (Whistling Shade Press). Find him at: http://trauch.wordpress.com

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Tuesday, 28 January 2025

Grumbler’s Café by Douglas MacKevett, doppio espresso macchiato

Opens late and opened til late, patrons come when they please, dragging fresh water from the mist of icy lakes and sea salt from the dunes with them. No matter, says I, coffee is the only thing on offer, the only thing that matters. It picks up the flavors of the smoke and the peat and the salt like a fine single malt. But the dregs run oily and smooth, giving it body and substance to bolster a fragile soul.

 

The early crowd shirks work, swigging the last drop and scrying the grounds for portents. Early, you see, is 9-ish when I have found my own courage at the bottom of the mug. The lunch crowd comes ravenous and haggard, the day’s vital juices already sapped from limbs involved in industrious pursuits. They barely notice the food, lost in an endless torrent of mail. But I serve them anyway. Even the distracted need victuals.

 

I like the afternoon crowd best, the idlers, the misfits, daydreamers worn down by a mere half-day of usefulness: students focused on becoming, elderly gentlemen in tweed playing chess while embellishing yesterday’s fly fishing. The lovers, the romantics, the men and women of leisure, a dying breed, all great coffee drinkers of limited means.

 

The evening pays my bills: Primal urges groggy from lunch now revive and seek kin. Downtrodden and worn, these guests arrive with shoulders sagged, but hours later they leave sprite-footed. Mondays it’s Mike the Musician mixing illegal downloads through hotwired speakers. When Mike flakes, though, any guest’s playlist will do. How a person deejays says much about them.

 

Tuesdays the editorial board of the Grumbler Tattler meets guided by two Supreme Rules: No flaming and absolutely no orthographical mistakes. The latter are tallied – every baker’s dozen leads to a round of drinks on the offender. Samantha does the artwork. Tom makes copies. I am editor-in-chief, publisher and creative director. It’s free for members, a buck for newbies.

 

Wednesdays the Club of Florence meets – only cynics would call it bullshitters’ night. We are Popperian and demand verifiability, the only true skill left in this post-fact age. A year ago, we installed an AI to catch logical fallacies; just last night we hooked a red herring.

 

Thursdays is karaoke, where drink flows copiously, to drown out the crooning. The Grumbling Strings and Pipes, our house band, is fledgling but only last week, John Gray – of the Vermont Grays – played rhythm for the prettiest rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic you ever did hear.

 

Fridays is open mic. Catfish talks about fixing his truck, JB recites his cowboy poetry, which mostly includes his wife kicking him out of the trailer home, then taking him back the next day. Billy says that he hung with Hemingway, though he would have been 13 years old at the time. When patrons get rowdy, we threaten them with Hank’s OpEds – that never fails to hush.

 

Saturdays we dance: waltzes, foxtrots, disco, two-step - anything but salsa.

 

Membership will get you an issue of the Tattler and coffee-as-a-service. I take no credit, no debit, cash only. Plastic encourages usury. For members, we offer a reading room, The Staxx, a collaborative offline library. Bring your own, leave what you have. We stock everything from Aquinas to Zola and plenty of pulp between. Premium members get the Top Flop, a couch on the second floor with a view of the ocean. Folks from all over the world have come to visit: Swedes, Kiwis, Octogenarians. I’ve been pinged, boinged, digged and stumbled upon. A review of your stay on Instagram earns you pancakes with extra syrup and bacon.

 

And me? My name’s Harvey P Grumbler (the P stands for P), entrepreneur extraordinaire, High Lord of Low Tech. My cooking skills are middling, my slow waltz magnificent. What I lack in skill, I overcome in pluck. Former tea trader, I traveled the Far East looking for the perfect leaf with nothing but a toothbrush and pair of skivvies to my name. Then one day a bomb in Bali blew off my right arm and popped my right eye. My wanderlust cured, I switched to coffee retail.

 

I collect eyepatches and have one in every color and pattern imaginable: plaid, paisley, and puce. The guys find it quirky, the ladies find it sexy, sometimes. I have three right prostheses of differing lengths, with hand, hook, or hammer for dancing, cooking, or building, respectively. Ladies get the hand, unruly customers the hook: I can plant it on the table and jerk it off my stump with a single yank: Even the toughest crumble. In the evening, I can clean my arms under the steam spout of the coffee machine.

 

I saw the maw of the whale that day in Bali, but I am not a drop-out – I am a check-in. I am a port for the world’s curious. And on Sundays we’re closed. 

About the author  

Douglas MacKevett is a writer and mythologist based near Lucerne, Switzerland. His work focuses on short-form fiction, spoken word and myth. When not crafting stories, Douglas enjoys the Swiss Alps with cross-country skiing in winter and hiking in summer. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Monday, 27 January 2025

The Haunted House by Tony Warner, a Cabernet Sauvignon

Staying at Penny’s house always makes me feel uncomfortable. There is an interminable and unsettling consciousness of alien intrusions. Unseen slippers slide across floorboards; a breath of  wind from a crossing body wafts eerily against my cheek. From upstairs comes the sound of a door closing silently. Perhaps it’s not the house itself; it could be me. I’ve been hyper-sensitive since I died, all my senses wound up to fever pitch, mind and body responsive to the merest iota of change in the physical and emotional environment.

            As ever, it was all Ramsay’s fault. We were visiting his mother for her birthday and he was in a rush. He was always in a rush. ‘Get up an hour earlier,’ I’d say to him, ‘then we can leave in plenty of time’.

            ‘No point,’ he would reply. ‘Leave too early and we’d only be caught in the traffic. Catch the right moment and we can zoom straight through.’

            Which is right in theory, but doesn’t allow for holdups: for accidents or animals on the road, not to mention urgent calls on one’s bowels or bladder. Many’s the time I’ve ended up squatting behind a hedge at the side of the road because Ramsay refused to pull in to the nearest petrol station. Well, this time we set off exactly to the minute, Charlotte safely tucked away in her carry cot on the back seat, held in with three firm straps, hooked in to the stantion points like the over-height loads on the top of an HGV.

            All went well until we hit the motorway, or what was left of it after the previous night’s six car pile-up. Three lanes became two, then one, then a single immobile mass of frustration and exhaust fumes. Ramsay sat and mixed his own fumes of exasperation in with the petrol and diesel. Once we were free, we were a good forty minutes behind schedule; a situation not to be endured.

            I did the sensible thing, rang Ramsay’s mother and told her we’d be a bit late. ‘Never mind, dear, I’ll be delighted to see you any time of the day or night. Give Charlotte a big kiss for me.’ Not that I could; Charlotte was sleeping enveloped in safety strapping on the back seat.

            Undeterred by the mangled wrecks being removed from the hard shoulder behind us, Ramsay did what he always did in these situations. He put his foot down hard on the accelerator. At a steady seventy we would have caught up at least half of the time we had lost. Ramsay had us bucketing along at something over ninety, weaving from lane to lane like a supersonic shopping trolley.

            I never knew exactly what happened, whether he lost control or smashed into the back of a slower vehicle unwilling to give him way. By the time I came round three weeks later, the exact details had been lost in the speculations about whether I would die or not. As it was, I did die. Not for long, a couple of minutes, they tell me, two minutes out of my life, or out of my death, depending on whichever way you look at it.

            I was a terrible patient, always have been, and dying made me worse. For hours on end I screamed for Charlotte, until the police ran an emergency service, all blue lights flashing, bringing her to me curled up in the arms of Ramsay’s mother. We didn’t talk about Ramsay on that occasion, and very rarely since, the ensuing emotional devastation always reducing me to a howling wreck.

            Which is why I don’t mention my fears about the ghost in Penny’s house to anyone, not even Penny. I have thought about it. Surely she should know her home is haunted? On the other hand, if it doesn’t bother her to live with a spook, who am I to worry her?

            Charlotte says I am ‘emotionally ultra-sensitive’, an expression she has picked up from her school, which is a big one for low-grade psychoanalysis. I’m more inclined to think of myself as a trainee medium, picking up on invisible auras. Whichever way, it annoys the hell out of Charlotte. She’ll come home from school all blithe and beautiful and plonk herself down in front of the television, as usual.

            ‘How was school?’ I ask.

            ‘Fine. Same as. Nothing special.’

            ‘Are you sure?’

            ‘Of course I’m sure.’

            ‘Something has upset you. Was it the boys being rude, or have you fallen out with Tracey again?’

            ‘Aw, mum.’

            So on we go until it turns out that Miss Waldegrave has told her she is the stupidest girl in the class, if not in the whole school. We finish curled up in one another’s arms and eating far too much chocolate ice cream. Think how annoying it must be not to have any emotional secrets from your mother. If it had been like that with mine, I would have left home five years earlier than I did.

            Charlotte has grown used to my x-ray interrogations, which is why today she comes straight out with her problem. ‘Hannah has asked me for a sleepover at hers at the weekend.’

            Hannah is Penny’s elder daughter, the sort every mum wishes her son would bring home  on his arm one day. ‘Darling, that’s wonderful. You know I like to see you making lots of friends, and Hannah is such a charming, well behaved girl. Of course you can go.’

            ‘But I don’t want to, mum.’

            ‘Why ever not? I thought you liked Hannah?’

            ‘Hannah is loveliest girl in the whole world and my bestest, bestest friend.’

            ‘Then why don’t you want to go there? Is it Julia?’

            ‘No, Julia’s fine. A noisy pest, but no worse than Andrea. Little sisters are always a pain. You said you and Aunt Celia never got on with one another when you were growing up, and now you can’t see enough of one another. It’s not Julia who’s the problem, and her mum let’s Hannah stay up as late as she likes when she has a sleepover. I just don’t like the house. It’s creepy. I come over all goose bumps when I’m there, as if someone’s watching me all the time. You know, like in those horror movies, where apparitions ooze out through the walls or a zombie grabs you while you’re not looking. What if I fell to sleep and a vampire swept in and bit me? I’d become one of the living dead.’

            One thing our kitchen is never short of is a plentiful supply of chocolate ice cream. We finish off a whole tub while I try to explain to Charlotte that zombies are a Hollywood invention and only exist in Caribbean folk law. And vampires sprang out of Bram Stoker’s imagination. And there are no such things as ghosts. Tomorrow I must talk to Penny. And buy another tub of chocolate ice cream.

            The one place I didn’t want to have the conversation with Penny is at her house, which, of course, is where we end up, but only after a couple of glasses of red at the local wine bar. Whether it was the preceding day’s chat with Charlotte or the wine, I’m not sure, but Penny’s place seemed even weirder than usual. The air is misty with threat, strange noises break in at irregular intervals, every object looks as if it were in the wrong place.

            Even Penny herself seems dislocated, not certain where to put her glass or if the cushions on the sofa are where they should be. A door closes silently upstairs, a presence whisks across the floor boards in the hallway, the cat scurries downstairs as if in fright at some fierce, ghostly dog. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, gulp carelessly at the fierce Rousillon red wine, spluttering half of it on my blouse.

            Much fussing and drying later, we settle back into the comfort of the living room, neither of us sure how to resume our conversation. ‘You seem nervous,’ Penny begins.

            ‘Well, I’ve something difficult to talk to you about.’ We both jiffle uncomfortably in our padded seats. I put my re-filled glass carefully in the centre of the coffee table. ‘You know Hannah has invited Charlotte for a sleep-over at the weekend?’

            ‘Of course. Partly my idea. I know the two of them are virtually inseparable, and Charlotte is such a nice girl.’ Do I catch the hint of a squirm in Penny’s manner? Whatever; she is avoiding eye contact, her mind elsewhere, fidgeting with one of the tassels on her cushion.

            I am not renowned for my tact. Even then, I can hardly say: ‘my daughter doesn’t want to come and stay in your house because she thinks it is creepy.’ Now, can I?

            ‘Did you know the kids at schools have been trying to scare one another, making up ghost stories? They have come up with the idea that this house is haunted.’ I sit back, waiting for the explosion.

            ‘Whatever gave them that idea?’ Penny throws back her head, sits ramrod straight, eyes glittering, cushion tassels clutched firmly in each hand as if she is trying to strangle them. ‘There was never any such suggestion when we bought it, and it’s no more than a hundred years old, so it can’t have much of an history. Is that why none of them ever want to come round? I always thought it was because I don’t have the right accent.’ She stifles a sob, deliquesces back into the sofa.

            ‘Darling, it’s not that. Everyone adores you. And Hannah. Your accent is no worse  than anyone else’s round about. But you must know, there are always strange things happening here. Listen! Hear that bump? What do you think it is? We are the only people in the house, it isn’t raining and the plumbing is behaving perfectly correctly. Then there’s the shuffling and strange gusts of wind. A while ago there was a clicking, like death watch beetle and a shuffling sound. There! Another bump! Charlotte is scared to death and I’m uneasy here most of the time as well. Whenever I visit you I’m expecting to walk into the Ghost of Christmas Past or some poor soul who was murdered in your bath tub.’

            Do you know what it’s like to be told somebody you heartily dislike has died suddenly? Laugh? Cry? Offer condolences? Make a stupid joke? Penny has that look about her, splutters through clenched teeth, clutches her hands firmly in her lap, which reminds me she used to be a school teacher at one time. Her shoulders relax. At the sound of another bump she titters.

            ‘It’s Vincent,’ she says at last.

            ‘Vincent? Your ex? I thought you were long rid of him. When was the divorce? Two years ago?’

            ‘Two years and three months. The divorce was the most amicable part of our whole marriage. I got to keep the house and custody of the children; he keeps his hefty civil service pension. Then it turns out he hasn’t got a penny in the bank. Spent it all on those loose women he was fornicating with. Serves him right, silly old fool. But I couldn’t just turn him out onto the street, now could I?

            ‘I said he could stay here living in the spare room for a short while until he sorted himself out, as long as he came nowhere near me or the girls. Which, to be fair, he hasn’t. Good job, too, or we’d be back screaming at one another like we did when we were married. For the last twenty-seven months he’s been a good boy, kept well out of sight, only used the loo here when no-one was around, showered at work, ate out or in his room. Except he can’t be completely silent, of course. Like everyone who learned to type on a typewriter he’s got a heavy touch on the keyboard, knocks the mouse off his desk now and again, shuffles up and down in his slippers when work isn’t going well. Nothing gross, but enough to remind you he’s there.

            ‘But you can always tell when there’s another person around, can’t you? The air seems to move, the central heating magically comes on or goes off, the post collects itself in neat piles, the cats always have food and water.’ Penny completely relaxes, slides her legs under her, leans sideways like a kitten curling up for sleep.

Only to be brutally disturbed.

Two things happen simultaneously. Heavy steps descend the stairs, to the accompaniment of a prolonged ringing of the doorbell and rude voices in the background. ‘Free at last!’ cries an exultant Penny. ‘There’s the removal men come to ship his stuff out. Now, what time will Charlotte be here on Friday?’

About the author

 

Tony Warner lives in Norwich, Norfolk. He has published a novel based on the fictional meeting of Vincent Van Gogh and Pablo Picasso, a book of short stories, several poems and short stories. He moonlights as an art critic and is renovating a thirteenth century church as a scriptorium. 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)

Sunday, 26 January 2025

Sunday Serial: 280 x 70, 47. Fix You, by Gill James, tap water

 Introduction

This collection is a collection of seventy stories, each 280 words. They were inspired by the first picture seen on my Twitter feed on a given day. 

M-Sarah dropped the plate which smashed into the tiled floor. The humanoid bit her lip. "Why do I pay all this money for a machine that can break the crockery even more spectacularly than I can? Where's the sense?"

M-Sarah started the diagnostics straight away. "I will find the problem,” she said. "It will be fixed within an hour and the plate will be reprinted."

"You'd better. Or it's back to the factory for you.”

M-Sarah ran a full physical test.  There was nothing to report. All joints and levers were working perfectly.

It must be to do with the data-centre. She initiated a data scan. All software appeared to be working. No bugs. No glitches. No crashes.

So could it be a connectivity problem? A lack of communication? She now ran a series of tests that made sure every physical part responded effectively to the messages from the data-centre. All was working perfectly.

There was nothing to fix. This state of the art self-fixing robot was functioning exactly as it should.  

"Well?" The humanoid was frowning.

"It seems to have been an error of judgement.

"Is that even possible?"

M-Sarah shrugged. "We're only ever as good as the people who programmed us."

"But you're supposed to be immune to human error."

"Apparently not. Do you suppose I'm becoming human?"

"Ye gods. I hope not."

A clunk and whir form the printer now confirmed that the plate had been manufactured. At least she could still multi-task. She'd copied one of the other plates and monitored the printer while she was completing the other checks. In future she would just have to concentrate more when she was unloading the dishwasher.              


About the author

Gill James is published by The Red Telephone, Butterfly and Chapeltown. She edits CafeLit and writes for the online community news magazine: Talking About My Generation. She teaches Creative Writing and has an MA in Writing for Children and PhD in Creative and Critical Writing. 

http://www.gilljameswriter.com 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/-/e/B001KMQRKE 

https://www.facebook.com/gilljameswriter 

Did you enjoy the story? Would you like to shout us a coffee? Half of what you pay goes to the writers and half towards supporting the project (web site maintenance, preparing the next Best of book etc.)