Wednesday, 19 February 2025

Scín by Jacqueline Joyce Ruddell, espresso

 

Since arriving on Earth, I have existed as an amorphous being. My name is Scín.

Tonight, I listen to the wind whimpering and the gurgling sounds around me as I lie inside my host, a noble steed whose soul senses my presence and wishes for me to leave. I will remain, but I feel the storm outside will pass by tomorrow.

“Hey there, boy. It's a big day ahead with the parade.” A bulk of a human male, around thirty, strokes my horse’s nose. 

I can almost sense the creature's joy from my position deep in its belly; it whinnies, and the vibrations wash over me like a soft sheet billowing in the breeze. The man's emotions seem restrained by his exaggerated movements.

My horse is saddled, and a dull weight, like pressurised air, presses down on me. The man wears a military uniform. His fur helmet threatens to drown his features; it obscures his eyes, and I squirm. He mounts the steed, and my work will soon begin. My task conflicts with the horse's purpose: while we both exist to serve, my steed’s King is earthly, while mine is something else entirely. 

It is late morning, and the sun has begun its quiet journey from the east. The air is fresh; the sky is a spectrum of greys. The roads have been cleared, and apart from my rider, there are few people to perceive, so the music of my strings is delicate and flows unobtrusively as we trod along.

 

The parade begins, and humans gather to watch. I feel a knot of unease forming inside me. The Royal band’s drums assault my senses, and the human screams are confusing. My instinct is to interpret the screams as a threat, but the crowd shouts, “We love you.” “Long live the King.”

My horse has no choice, and neither do I. A rumbling comes from inside the steed’s body; it travels through its intestines toward me, plucking at my entangled strings and creating a song. The music is my master, my comfort, my lifeblood. Today, it is my tormentor.

I find no relief from the excruciating sounds of the day except by reeling against

my inner music, the constant plucking of my strings. Meanwhile, the horse wraps its mouth around a human arm. Its teeth nibble but do not bite. The rider pulls on the reins. There’s grunting and whinnying in a battle of wills—the three of us contend for control. I can taste the stagnant shadow emitted by the human. I devour it.

There are innumerable souls around me. A girl in a yellow raincoat approaches, wanting a picture taken beside me. She has the sweet scent of icing around her mouth. Her soul glimmers and evokes a beautiful melody within me. When she rests her head against my horse, his ears twitch, and I feel a glow dampening my inner fire.

“Wow, Mum, his coat is shimmering. He’s sparkling. Look.” The girl runs over to a woman in a blue coat. 

“Oh yes, I see. Lovely, " the mother says, but she does not look at me. To her, I am just a black horse, nothing more. Why can't she see me burning, shimmering inside its belly? I am a mound of consciousness, more than strings entangled in a creature's being.

My fire turns blue.

Look at me, I want to say.

            Blue flickers against the walls of my horse’s gut; his head nods feverishly.

“Wow, easy, boy.” The rider says.

             A man with four dark shadows approaches. I feel his corruption as if it already belongs to me. My strings contort in a terrifying song. My horse’s teeth sink into the side of the human’s coat. A brief tug-of-war occurs. The man scuttles away unscathed, complaining and pointing, but not before I swallow his shadows. The metallic taste only amplifies my hunger.

Overwhelmed by the darkness I’ve absorbed, my song distorts further; the rhythm has become demented. More people, more pictures. People with placards. People are shouting; a beer can bounces off the side of my horse’s nose. Blue lights flash, and the sound of sirens feels like an onslaught of arrows attacking me. There’s a fire inside the people—orange, red, and blue fire—my horse charges. I pull against my entangled strings; the excruciating music continues, and the steed kicks and bites the fire and darkness from these humans. I absorb more shadows; I consume the evil. My hunger is insatiable. The rider falls. The girl in the yellow raincoat holds her arms up toward my horse's head.

“Stop.”

A spooked hoof strikes her mother’s temple— liquid crimson oozes.

When her mother falls, the girl’s wide oak-coloured eyes look straight through me, and my strings play a forlorn tune just for her. But she does not hear the music. Nobody hears it. All they hear is the gunshot. My host falls, but soon they'll feel the shimmer.

My name is Scín.


About the author

Jacqueline, based in County Down, won the Flash Fiction Armagh competition and was longlisted for the Flash 500 spring 2024 competition. A bursary student at the John Hewitt Summer School, her work has appeared in Bright Flash Literary Review. She is pursuing an MA in Creative Writing at Queen’s University.

 

 

 

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